"Devil Baby" Influencer Stalks Chelsea Soccer Stars, Tells Them She's Pregnant, And STILL Avoids Prison

Soccer stars, man. Can't we just let them play soccer, make billions, and sleep with people they met 10 minutes ago without fear that those grounded, in-touch-with-reality, healthy thinkers known as "influencers" will then stalk them and their teammates? 

A social media influencer who labelled herself 'Devil Baby' has been spared jail after stalking three Premier League footballers.

Orla Melissa Sloan, 22, who called herself Devil Baby on Instagram, used 21 phone numbers to stalk [Chelsea midfielder Mason Mount] for four months between June 19 and October 28 last year.

She also stalked his former team-mate Billy Gilmour between September 10 and October 28 2022 and harassed fellow Blues star Ben Chilwell between October 20 and 29 2022. 

But she claimed to have fallen pregnant in allegations described in court as “completely fictitious”.Mirror

Crikey. Poor Mason Mount. Guy is only 24 and he's already learning that you can't just spray your seed far and wide like you've rotated the hose nozzle to mist; eventually, some of those seeds will come back in the form of 21 different phone numbers that you have to block in success, only to realize you're fighting an enemy you completely underestimated. She has the upper hand. She is the rising die. You're out there playing whack-a-mole, blocking numbers as fast as possible. But it's never fast enough:

“He began asking her to stop messaging him before blocking the number.“He then began to receive messages from new numbers and each time he would block those numbers, there would be messages from a different number.”

Another showed an Apple account buying a new number for £12.99 with the words: “I’m not buying food anymore so I can get more numbers. I will be faster than you.”

She traded food for more phone numbers?! Goddamn this woman is hunger striking to keep the game going. I don't know why but I'm seeing this all as a I Think You Should Leave sketch, with Tim Robinson furiously purchasing more numbers. "I NEED MORE NUMBERS. HE'LL COME AROUND, HE JUST NEEDS TO SEE HOW COMMITTED I AM TO PHONE NUMBERS." 

It goes on! 

The earlier hearing was told how in one message from an Instagram account using the Devil Baby name, she said: “I can morph at any time so let me apologise and set things right.”

Morph at any time. I love this chameleon. Staying one step, or shape, ahead of the game. In the end, the judge threw some light fines and a suspended sentence at her, including 200 hours of "unpaid work." I'm assuming that's British for community service, but they may just be telling her to continue doing her job? Influencing? 

Anyway. Here's the little rascal: