Nuggets Owner Stan Kroenke Is A Prolific Championship Winner, But Apparently Doesn't Know How Microphones Work

Congrats to the Denver Nuggets and owner Stan Kroenke for pulling off a feat I don't think has ever been equalled. Some people on Twitter are shouting angry, vague statements into the void about how evil the guy is. IDK. Yeah you probably have to do some twisted shit to hike your net worth up to $12.9 billion. Or, you know, you combine your not-inconsiderable independent wealth with a marriage into the Walmart empire.

That's neither here nor there. Given Kroenke's business acumen and high visibility, you'd think by now he'd have the wherewithal to speak into a microphone. You'd be wrong to believe in that line of thinking.

SUCH AN OLD HEAD MOVE. I was dying at this. If someone holds up a microphone, like, uh...direct your vocal charge in that general direction. The whole goal of the interview is not for the interviewer to hear you as clearly as possible over an admittedly uproarious crowd of Nuggets fans. 

The Internet tells me Kroenke's nickname in some circles is "Silent Stan". That sounds pretty foreboding any way you slice it. Like a an alliterative sleeper assassin or some shit. In this postgame interview context, however, the actual substance of the "Silent Stan"makes so much sense. The moniker comes from Kroenke's aversion to doing any interviews. So hey, a live hot mic in his face wasn't an ideal scenario for a mysterious mogul who likes to keep to himself.

...But come on, Silent Stan. Surely you've had enough experience at these championship-winning functions by now to hold court a tad better than you did here. Basic brief TV spot decorum is pretty straightforward or so you'd presume.

Given how tirelessly great Finals MVP Nikola Jokic is, and how much Jamal Murray stepped the hell up in the playoffs, the Nuggets have their Batman and Robin to build title contenders around for many years to come. The Western Conference is kind of a mess, so it's not a stretch to suggest Denver could win at least another championship in the next two to three years. maybe then Silent Stan can redeem himself. Until that time, he may wanna get some coaching or actually do more press.

Don't come after me, Nugs fans. I'm just having a bit of fun at the mind-bogglingly rich owner's expense. GET SOME CHAMPIONSHIP MERCH FOR YOURSELF. And hey Denver, as a general city, please don't close super early tonight like you're typically wont to do!!

Twitter @MattFitz_gerald/TikTok