I'm Starting To Think That Maybe We Know Entirely Too Much About The Personal Lives Of Professional Athletes These Days
Tim Nwachukwu. Getty Images.I knew it was only a matter of time before this day would come. And truthfully, I'm sure the day has actually passed a long time ago and it's taken me until just now to realize it.
But on June 8, 2023, I have officially become too old for the internet. 31-years-old and that's it for me. I have never felt more out of the loop than I do right now. I log onto Twitter [dot] com and everything seems like it's written in a foreign language to me. Rizz god this, Baby Gronk that, and Zion spitting into another consenting adult's mouth while in the midst of performing intercourse with that woman, while simultaneously conceiving a child with somebody else.
Did I need to know that Zion likes to get down and dirty with a little spit play while he's taking a one-way trip to PoundTown? Of course not. But do I know it now? Against my will, yes I do. And I'll never be able to un-know it.
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Now I'm completely aware of the irony levels on this post. We here at Barstool Sports benefit greatly from the oversharing from the personal lives of professional athletes. That's what pays the bills, and that's what keeps the lights on. That's not lost on me. But maybe, juuuuust maybe, we know a little too much about all these guys. Personally I blame Tony Romo. I feel like all of this started when he was dating Jessica Simpson. That's when society got a little taste of gossip in sports, and now it's snowballed into Zion Williamson spitting into a pornstar's mouth being headline news. Just think about all the suckin' and fuckin' that went on behind closed doors for professional athletes in the past. God knows what some of those guys were up to 30 years ago, but then they'd show up to play at night and nobody would give a shit. All of that changed because of some jackass who only won 2 playoff games in his career. Goddammit.
P.S. -- Every time another athlete is in the news for something that happened outside of actually playing their sport, it makes LeBron's career look better and better. 20 years now and the most controversial moment of his career has been liking an Instagram post of a rather rotund rump.