Over the last 24 hours, since the EARTH-SHATTERING ANNOUNCEMENT of the SECRET DEAL that SATAN'S GOAT, JAY MONAHAN cut with those BLOODTHIRSTY, JOURNALIST-MURDERING OIL PIRATES, the Saudi-run LIV Golf tour, perhaps the most salacious reckoning of all has been the KNEE-BUCKLING BAGS missed by the righteous saints who remained with the PGA.
We've seen meme after meme and headline after headline about how Hideki missed out on $300-400 million, Rory somewhere north of $450 mill, and Tiger close to a goddamn billion dollars.
Guess what, dickheads? You're not helping. Aren't we on the side of these guys? Aren't they the good guys? Throat-fucking these surely enraged players with the eye-watering figures they turned down to remain true to their ethics is far from the golf clap they need right now. It's fun to play that game with Sofia with an F; it's kicking a dismembered carcass we profess to feel sympathy for with Rory.
It's easy to say that the guys who missed out on the biggest deals—Rory, Rahm, Tiger, etc.—are still fine. Yes, they are. They make tons and tons of money. This argument has always been stupid as hell. Everything is relative. Missing out on $400 million to an already-wealthy Rory may feel as bad as missing out on $100 to Joe next door.
Dave made this point:
I sure hope that's true, and across the board. Although, with that said, imagine the fireworks of professional golf if somehow these guys don't get made whole in some way? Imagine Patrick Reed vs. Rory in the Ryder Cup, with Reed making the money gesture with his fingers after draining a putt in match play?
Might come to blows. Sure hope not. Golf was once a gentleman's game.