Father's Day Collection - Available Now At The Barstool Store SHOP HERE

Advertisement

South Korea Aims To Prove That Kim Jong Un is a Big Ole Fatty McFat Through AI

Linh Pham. Getty Images.

SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is believed to weigh over 140 kg (308 lb) according to an artificial intelligence (AI) estimate, a South Korean lawmaker said on Wednesday in a remark reflecting abiding interest in the health of the North's secretive ruler.

The health of North Korean leaders is typically a tightly held state secret, and speculation about the condition of the current leader Kim, believed to be 39 years old, has been recurring due to his heavy smoking, apparent weight gain and family history of cardiovascular problems.

This is sneaky phycological warfare. Imagine sitting there if you're Kim. Everyone in your country has to suck your dick raw or weep when they see pictures of you. You'd get used to that treatment for sure and then your biggest enemy creates a system that is designed to tell just how fat you are. Brutal. I've gained some weight before. I didn't feel great about myself. 

Advertisement

If you would have told me that right after this pic was published there was an AI system tracking just how fat I was, I would have KMS right there on the spot. I was a hot mess and couldnt have taken that. That being said, it would have been useful as a tool to keep me accountable. 

Public displays of love and horniness for the supreme leader are often showcased in state-organized events and rallies which probably makes this fat shaming worse.  Large-scale gatherings where citizens engage in synchronized performances, chanting slogans, and expressing their loyalty through tears and the gnashing of teeth. These weird events are intended to demonstrate the unity and devotion of the North Korean people to this sicko and the regime without mentioning that if they don't, their families will be murdered, imprisoned, or starved to death. Not great. 

But, it's perhaps even worse than Kim just being a chubby chubberton. Kim's people are starving. Like starving starving. They arent starving because they need a McFlurry and haven't had a snack for two hours. These folks are starving and Kim is getting fatter and fatter and fatter by the day. 

Advertisement

Anyway, let's relax on the caviar and toss your people some actual food. Just a thought.