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3x-MVP Kirk Minihane Looks For First Ever Win, And KFC Battles Titus In The Dozen Tournament III (Round One, Day Two Preview)

The Dozen Season 3 Tournament kicks off this week with two great games. We have the Misfits taking on The Family in the play-in game. Reags faces his original squad for the first time since abandoning them during Season 2. Then we have a crazy first-round match-up as The Baddies take on the reigning champion, Uptown Balls. Our correspondent Scoops L'Aguirre has the breakdown…

7-urMOM vs. 10-SMOCKIN
ROUND ONE, MATCH TWO

(7) urMom
- 5-3-0 Record  
- 11.38 Points Per Game 
- 1.38 Steals Per Game 
- 75% Niche Success Rate 
-- Jack: 4.60 PPG  
-- KFC: 4.33 PPG  
-- Rudy: 4.22 PPG 

urMom Category Advantages: Music, Snacks & Candy, College Football 

(10) Smockin
- 3-3-2 Record  
- 12.88 Points Per Game 
- 2.50 Steals Per Game  
- 75% Niche Success Rate  
-- KenJac: 6.94 PPG 
-- Titus: 6.31 PPG  
-- Donnie: 2.50 PPG 

Smockin Category Advantages: Movies, College Basketball, NBA 

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS MATCHUP:

  • No two teams overlap in strengths more than urMom and Smockin. They each typically dominate Movies, Television, Mashups, and Music.    

  • The Doubled categories are big. Smockin is likely Doubling Celebrity Mashup, a category urMom has stolen 3x this season. UrMom is likely Doubling Music, as they were a perfect 11-0 in Season 3, but Smockin was undefeated in the category last season as well. A steal going either direction would be devastating. 

  • Even with a losing record, Smockin’s point differential on the season was +12, the fifth-best in the league and even higher than the #1-seed Yak. Averaging 12.88 ppg, Smockin either blow out their opponents or chokes when the going gets tough.   

  • Meanwhile, urMom ended the year with a winning record despite a differential of -3. They won two OT games and found ways to grind out close wins.   

  • No player on urMom averages more than 5 points per game; however, they play like a team and piece things together. Smockin plays hero ball, Titus and KenJac put up big numbers, but they don’t play like a team, and while Donnie brings great vibes, he doesn’t bring many points.   

Summarized: From a purely statistical standpoint, Smockin is the better team, yet they are one of the worst teams in the clutch, and they face urMom, a team who thrives under pressure. 

4-TEAM MINIHANE vs. 13-MACRODOSING
ROUND ONE, MATCH THREE

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(4) Team Minihane
- 7-2-0 Record  
- 13.33 Points Per Game
- 2.00 Steals Per Game 
- 100% Niche Success Rate 
-- Kirk: 8.06 PPG  
-- Quigs: 5.07 PPG  
-- Rico: 4.74 PPG 

Minihane Category Advantages: Movies, Television, College Basketball 

(13) Macrodosing
- 4-2-0 Record  
- 11.17 Points Per Game 
- 1.50 Steals Per Game  
- 83% Niche Success Rate  
-- Big T: 5.21 PPG 
-- Mad Dog: 5.08 PPG  
-- Arian: 3.07 PPG 

Macrodosing Category Advantages: Celebrity Mashup, Music, College Football 

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS MATCHUP:   

  • Kirk is a 3x MVP. This year, he enters the tournament with two teammates who can score occasional points, which he’s not had in previous tournaments. Still, he’s never won a playoff game.   

  • Macrodosing is the most slept-on team in the league. They ended with a winning record, all four wins were against teams in the tournament, and they have two rookies in Big T/Mad Dog who average over 5 ppg. It’s wild that they’re the #13 seed.   

  • The only team Minihane beat with a record above .500 this season is urMom. They put up big numbers this season, but their resume might be inflated.  

  • Macrodosing is 2-4 when using their Double this season, and it’s a big question mark going into this game. They need to go in with a game plan because it will be impossible to beat Kirk if they miss their Double.   

  • Big T and Macrodosing have relied on Rico Bosco as their College Basketball Phone-A-Friend, and now they have to stand across from him; luckily for them, Proper Wild is the sponsor of this tournament, not High Noon.   

Summarized: Team Minihane is the heavy favorite to win, but if Kirk chokes with the bright lights on him again, this Macrodosing team has pulled off upsets all year.  

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That's it! See you tonight, and then back again tomorrow with TWO MORE MATCHES!