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3x-MVP Kirk Minihane Looks For First Ever Win, And KFC Battles Titus In The Dozen Tournament III (Round One, Day Two Preview)

The Dozen Season 3 Tournament kicks off this week with two great games. We have the Misfits taking on The Family in the play-in game. Reags faces his original squad for the first time since abandoning them during Season 2. Then we have a crazy first-round match-up as The Baddies take on the reigning champion, Uptown Balls. Our correspondent Scoops L'Aguirre has the breakdown…

7-urMOM vs. 10-SMOCKIN

(7) urMom
- 5-3-0 Record  
- 11.38 Points Per Game 
- 1.38 Steals Per Game 
- 75% Niche Success Rate 
-- Jack: 4.60 PPG  
-- KFC: 4.33 PPG  
-- Rudy: 4.22 PPG 

urMom Category Advantages: Music, Snacks & Candy, College Football 

(10) Smockin
- 3-3-2 Record  
- 12.88 Points Per Game 
- 2.50 Steals Per Game  
- 75% Niche Success Rate  
-- KenJac: 6.94 PPG 
-- Titus: 6.31 PPG  
-- Donnie: 2.50 PPG 

Smockin Category Advantages: Movies, College Basketball, NBA 


  • No two teams overlap in strengths more than urMom and Smockin. They each typically dominate Movies, Television, Mashups, and Music.    

  • The Doubled categories are big. Smockin is likely Doubling Celebrity Mashup, a category urMom has stolen 3x this season. UrMom is likely Doubling Music, as they were a perfect 11-0 in Season 3, but Smockin was undefeated in the category last season as well. A steal going either direction would be devastating. 

  • Even with a losing record, Smockin’s point differential on the season was +12, the fifth-best in the league and even higher than the #1-seed Yak. Averaging 12.88 ppg, Smockin either blow out their opponents or chokes when the going gets tough.   

  • Meanwhile, urMom ended the year with a winning record despite a differential of -3. They won two OT games and found ways to grind out close wins.   

  • No player on urMom averages more than 5 points per game; however, they play like a team and piece things together. Smockin plays hero ball, Titus and KenJac put up big numbers, but they don’t play like a team, and while Donnie brings great vibes, he doesn’t bring many points.   

Summarized: From a purely statistical standpoint, Smockin is the better team, yet they are one of the worst teams in the clutch, and they face urMom, a team who thrives under pressure. 



(4) Team Minihane
- 7-2-0 Record  
- 13.33 Points Per Game
- 2.00 Steals Per Game 
- 100% Niche Success Rate 
-- Kirk: 8.06 PPG  
-- Quigs: 5.07 PPG  
-- Rico: 4.74 PPG 

Minihane Category Advantages: Movies, Television, College Basketball 

(13) Macrodosing
- 4-2-0 Record  
- 11.17 Points Per Game 
- 1.50 Steals Per Game  
- 83% Niche Success Rate  
-- Big T: 5.21 PPG 
-- Mad Dog: 5.08 PPG  
-- Arian: 3.07 PPG 

Macrodosing Category Advantages: Celebrity Mashup, Music, College Football 


  • Kirk is a 3x MVP. This year, he enters the tournament with two teammates who can score occasional points, which he’s not had in previous tournaments. Still, he’s never won a playoff game.   

  • Macrodosing is the most slept-on team in the league. They ended with a winning record, all four wins were against teams in the tournament, and they have two rookies in Big T/Mad Dog who average over 5 ppg. It’s wild that they’re the #13 seed.   

  • The only team Minihane beat with a record above .500 this season is urMom. They put up big numbers this season, but their resume might be inflated.  

  • Macrodosing is 2-4 when using their Double this season, and it’s a big question mark going into this game. They need to go in with a game plan because it will be impossible to beat Kirk if they miss their Double.   

  • Big T and Macrodosing have relied on Rico Bosco as their College Basketball Phone-A-Friend, and now they have to stand across from him; luckily for them, Proper Wild is the sponsor of this tournament, not High Noon.   

Summarized: Team Minihane is the heavy favorite to win, but if Kirk chokes with the bright lights on him again, this Macrodosing team has pulled off upsets all year.  

That's it! See you tonight, and then back again tomorrow with TWO MORE MATCHES!