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"The Longest Pee Ever" Snapped Padraig Harrington's 51-Hole Bogey-Free Streak At The Senior PGA Championship

Orlando Ramirez. Getty Images.

[Irish News Desk]

"Spending a penny could cost Padraig Harrington a fortune after “the longest pee ever” led to a double bogey that saw his lead reduced to one shot in the $3.5m KitchenAid Senior PGA Championship in Dallas. […] He had yet to make a bogey all week when he went to the toilet at the 16th and ran up a double-bogey six rushing back to hit his shot.

"'[…] 16 came out of nowhere…So, essentially, I went in the toilet. The door was locked. It took me a minute to realise there wasn't somebody in there, another while to get the door open. I had, as we are on the Champions Tour, I had the longest pee ever. And then I kind of rushed down the fairway and hit my shot. 

"[…] The second shot was kind of innocuous because the pin was so tight I was just playing 15 feet left of it and to be honest, yeah, I just, I wasn't -- I do that sometimes, I just wasn't focused, I wasn't into it and I hit a bad shot in the hazard. So when you get over 50, it sometimes takes a long time to have a pee. And that's my excuse. That's got to be original, I would assume.'"

Poor Padraig Harrington. All he was trying to do was relieve himself. Already a bit of a methodical, deliberate player, I'm sure Paddy wanted to keep the momentum flowing at the Senior PGA Championship, where he still, by the way, holds a one-stroke lead through 54 holes. Unfortunately, some mobile bathroom troubles befell him at the most inopportune of times, and he wound up hitting his second shot on the par-4 16th hole into the hazard. Big number. Woof.

If anyone can battle back from adversity, it's Harrington. The man is a three-time major winner on the younger-men's circuit, including a back-to-back Champion Golfer of the Year. He also won last year's U.S. Senior Open.

That second time when Paddy successfully defended the Claret Jug in 2006, I can't recall seeing more brutal conditions for a tournament. Just devastating winds that made keeping the ball in play and missing it in the right spots damn near impossible. Never mind how challenging putting was amid the blustery climate. Harrington got to the clubhouse with a +3 total for the championship, four shots ahead of Ian Poulter; six clear of Henrik Stenson and Greg Norman. Unreal.

So anyway. What happened after Harrington's misadventures at No. 16 on Saturday? He finished strong with a birdie at the closing par 5. Because of course he did.

Shame that such an impressive bogeyless streak had to fall prey to the basic needs of life. You gotta love how self-deprecating Paddy was, too. Could've easily not told anyone about the whole ordeal. Just take your double bogey on the chin and carry on without outing yourself as a valiant-but-suboptimal urinator. 

Here's a little clip of the aftermath where the big reveal was…revealed. Shit. Whatever.

The wily veterans who are chasing Paddy's pee trail are Steve Stricker and Stewart Cink. Strick is too busy hunting and living life a lot of the time to be bothered by major championship pressure these days. With his hot putter and few-fucks-given attitude, he'll be a threat at only one shot off the pace. Stricker fell one shot shy of Harrington at the aforementioned 2022 U.S. Senior Open.

Then you have Stew Cink, who still has plenty of game and only turned 50 six days ago! A spring chicken on the PGA TOUR Champions scene! HOW 'BOUT ONE!?

For real, will someone in Dallas please get that porta potty fixed? I wonder what the issue was. Some push/pull situation that Paddy was doing wrong and then it suddenly left him pressed for time? Or some weird latch thanngg that he couldn't figure out? Prolly not. Seems far-fetched. The Irishman strikes me as a sharp-enough guy to handle his business before, whilst and after taking care of business if you know what I mean.

Everybody give me a big "EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" for Paddy. And cheer this beautiful man on as he pursues further major glory at Colonial.

Twitter @MattFitz_gerald/TikTok