MY HOLE WEAK- Crawford/Spence, Gerard Butler, & The New York Post

Large5/28/2023 11:00 PM

I might throw out a blog every week filled with random shit I experienced that would never make for a full post... Instead of calling it My Whole Week, I like the play on words and anal sex innuendo My Hole Weak provides.

Here's a sample… Lemme know if I should make it a thing.

Crawford vs Spence was announced this week.

For non-boxing fans, this is THE fight to make in professional boxing right now… All four titles at 147 pounds on the line… And I won't believe it is happening until both men make their ringwalks on July 29th.

One of the primary news conferences is in NYC this Thursday, and I will have Errol Spence Jr in HQ to chat about the super-fight.

I had a conversation with a waitress about a boss who paid her less when he saw how much she was being tipped by his customers… The semantics of how that happened is not important, but it reminded me of a story from my childhood.

My best friend and I were altar servers for a fireman's funeral, and it was a GIGANTIC affair. Firetrucks showed up from all around NYC to our little parish on the ass-end of Brooklyn, and the church was PACKED with mourners.

I must've been in Fifth Grade at the time, so that would make it 1981'ish, and at the end of the ceremony, a big Irish-looking fireman came over to me and my buddy and gave us $100 each as a tip for serving the mass… Two crisp $100 bills.

"Siri, what is $100 in 1981 worth today?"

"Sure, Big Dick Daddy… $100 in 1981 is equivalent in purchasing power to about $333.73 today, an increase of $233.73 over 42 years. The dollar had an average inflation rate of 2.91% per year between 1981 and today, producing a cumulative price increase of 233.73%."

"Thank you, Siri."

"You're welcome, Big Dick Daddy."

So a fireman handed two 10-year-olds the equivalent of $333, and we were fucking THRILLED about it. That was, until the priest who served the mass promptly walked over, took the two $100 bills, gave us each a not-so-fresh $10 bill from his wallet, and told us he was going to donate the rest to the church.

I was incensed back then, but fast forward 20 years, and my anger increased EXPONENTIALLY when I realized that $180 might have gone toward buying inappropriately used condoms.

Tina Turner died this past week without much mention, except for an incredibly detailed blog by Dante. But one story came up on social that I would like to make sure everyone knows.

There are 2 things you need to know for background:

1) The New York Post is a daily newspaper here in NYC that is known for its salacious headlines… HEADLESS BODY FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR was one of their best.

Stephanie Keith. Getty Images.

2) lke Turner was Tina Turner's abusive husband, and he passed away years ago.

Michael Ochs Archives. Getty Images.

(douchebag)

Knowing that, you should be able to appreciate that when Ike (that domestically-violent piece of shit) died of a cocaine overdose in 2007, nearly 16 years before his battered ex-wife would ultimately expire, The New York Post printed this headline…

Next up… I am a Gerard Butler fan.

He may be the last of the great B-movie action stars, continuing in the footsteps of Charles Bronson, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Giphy Images.

I don't know if this is a hot take, but I enjoyed 300 more than Gladiator, and I can run down the rest of Butler's IMDB page with equal fondness.

Copshop, How To Train Your Dragon, Reign of Fire, Den of Thieves, Hunter Killer, Gamer, Law Abiding Citizen, RockNRolla, Olympus/London/Angel Has Fallen, and Plane are all "bangers" in my opinion, so I was thrilled to spend a GORGEOUS Sunday morning in a theatre watching the lastest Gerard Butler vehicle: Kandahar.

And here is my review- It stunk.

Can't win 'em all, Leonidas.

Giphy Images.

Last thing… I might close every week with something that annoyed me over the previous 7 days.

A small group of women from Just Stop Oil, an environmental activist group, vandalized a flower garden.

These three hotties threw several packets of orange powder paint across the flowers and hard landscaping of The RBC Brewin Dolphin Garden in southwest London… I know very little about powder paint and even less about gardens, but the designers of this particular landscape said the garden has been permanently damaged.

When any group decides to protest the destruction of the environment by destroying a smaller environment, I think we have to take a step back and re-evaluate the myriad of hills stupid people have to die on nowadays.

Perhaps someone will take umbrage with my comments above about ~~REDACTED BY EDITORS~~