Lighten the Fuck Up! Sandra Hadn't had a Drink in Years, but She Was Pulled Over for Drunk Driving...
Sandra got pulled over late one night, and she had no idea why…
The Cop walked up to her rolled-down window and simply said, “License and registration, Ma'am…"
Sandra asked curiously, "Exactly what am I being pulled over for, officer?"
The cop replied, "The way you're driving, Ma'am. You're showing signs of being intoxicated…”
Sandra was shocked, “But officer, I can assure you I haven’t had a drink in years!”
“Alright, Ma'am," the cop responded, "How about a quick test of your sobriety… Imagine you’re driving down a dark road and see two lights off in the distance, what is it?”
Sandra thought for a moment and then answered, “It's a car.”
“Of course, it's a car!" the cop said knowingly, "But what kind? A Chevy, Dodge, or a Ford?”
Sandra was confused, “How the hell am I supposed to know?”
The cop shook his head disgusted, “Just as I suspected, Ma'am, you’ve been drinking…”
Sandra protested, “But officer, you're sadly mistaken. I haven’t had anything to drink. Not one drop!”
“Okay," the cop continued, "Then let me ask you this, Ma'am. On the same dark road, there's one light off in the distance, what is it?”
Sandra answered confidently and without hesitation, “It's a motorcycle.”
“Well, duh," the cop said in a sarcastic tone, "I meant, is it a Honda, a Harley, or a Kawasaki?”
Sandra was baffled, “I have no idea!”
“Go figure," the cop surmised, "You’re intoxicated, Ma'am.”
“Okay," Sandra said, "Then let me ask you this, officer. Imagine you’re driving down a dark road, and you see a woman on the roadside wearing a leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, high heels, and only a skimpy bra for a top. Her hair's a mess, and her mascaras running. What would you call her?”
The cop replied with great certainty, “A hooker, of course.”
"Well, duh," Sandra said in a sarcastic tone, "I meant, is it your wife, your daughter, or your mother?”
Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #171!