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This Masturbation Technique Is As Pre-Crime As it Gets

On the last episode of the Bracket, we had local area dullards Marty Mush and Dana B on to debate the MOST DISAPPOINTING THINGS. Very early on, we had to confront Dana B on the fact that, instead of going to the bathroom, he pisses in bottles and leaves them near his bed. So, naturally, I had to ask this pig man what happens to the other fluid he expels from that area. And Tommy's admission during this was somehow worse than Dana's. 

He basically puts down a bib, or maybe a smock of sorts, to catch all of his rancid, inferior genetic material. What the fuck dude. I just imagine that entire process working like a scene out of Dexter when he tarps down his whole room before murdering someone. 

Here is a hypothetical: If you were a parent, would you rather walk in on your son blasting a load onto a homemade bib on his tummy, or walk in on him murdering someone? Honestly, It's hard for me to answer. 

You can watch the full thing here: