Barstool Golf Time | Book Tee Times & Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Advertisement

Heading Into The Succession Series Finale This Weekend My Money Is On Greg The Egg Pulling A Shocker To Triumph Over The Roy Children Victoriously

"There's no way the writers (who are incredible by the way) of this show would ruin it by ending it like this"

"That's an ending straight out of Game Of Thrones. Like Bran the Broken."

"No chance. It'll be Kendall easily."

"Nope, gonna be Tom."

"Roman is going to redeem himself"

"Obviously, everybody's been saying it will be Greg since season 1."

The responses have been all over the place. I realize that my prediction of mine (which may or may not have come to me while popping Claritin D like tic tacs, self-medicating with 3 Chi last night) may be a bit of a reach.

But regardless, my money is on Greg Hirsch emerging the victor at the end of all this on Sunday night. Hear me out on this.

Advertisement

This dude started off as a weed-induced puking machine in a theme park costume. I mean, talk about a humble beginning. But his journey from puke to power is what makes him the relatable hero we all need in the world of the uber-wealthy Roys.

Sure, Greg may come from a rich family, but he's the closest thing we have to an "everyman" in this lavish saga. He can't even afford rent and has to smuggle office snacks in doggy poop bags. That's some next-level resourcefulness right there. But hey, thanks to his Uncle Logan, he lands a job and even gets a swanky apartment courtesy of his cousin Ken. Who needs to know how to dress, eat, or talk like the snooty elites when you have free snacks and a fancy new pad, am I right?

Now, Greg may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's no fool. He's been accumulating some serious insider knowledge and leveraging it like a pro. Remember that mysterious piece of paper with names crossed out? Well, guess whose name was on it? You got it—Greg's! Why, you ask? Who knows! But you can bet your bottom dollar that it means something. Succession doesn't throw in details just for kicks.

This fuckin guy Greg, he's been trading information for power like it's a yard sale. When there was a scandal with the cruises, he ratted out Tom and even blackmailed him. And let's not forget how he exposed Shiv's secret deal. Greg may play the fool, but he's secretly hoarding secrets and backstabbing like a pro. The Roys keep underestimating him, brushing off his attempts at hugs and hanging up on him. But little do they know, Greg's gathering all the intel he needs to take them down.

Greg's transformation from a bumbling goofball to a backstabbing Roy shows us that Uncle Logan is one corrupting force. As Kendall wisely puts it, "The poison drips through." Greg has been gathering valuable information since day 1, and using it to his advantage. He's the master of secrets, flipping on anyone who crosses him.

And you know what's even crazier? The Swede, Matsson, the guy who initially thought Greg was a total buffoon, has taken a liking to him. Why? Because Greg's the guy who fires people left and right at WayStar Royco. The dude's got a talent for cutting throats, metaphorically speaking, of course. Matsson sees Greg as a valuable asset, someone who's willing to do the dirty work and spill the beans on anyone who treats him poorly. It's a match made in scheming heaven.

Let's not forget Logan's last words, to his own flesh and blood, was that nobody takes them serious.

Advertisement

Because they're not good at anything! They have no actual, discernible talents. They don't command respect from anybody. Nobody fears them. They're the opposite of leaders. 

They are the epitome of silver spoon-fed, uber-wealthy kids born on third base, who think they hit triples. 

We witnessed this in grand fashion this season when Kendall and Roman totally fucked up their meeting in Norway with Mattson, exposing themselves as overconfident idiots who were totally outmatched by somebody with a brain, and experience. Mattson was able to break Roman to the point he shows his hand, and lets his emotions and impulsiveness get the best of him in a business negotiation. Something his father would never.

(amazing scene by the way- one of the best of the entire series)

Greg on the other hand is, as the saying goes, "is dumb like a fox". Meaning he leans into his aloofness and deliberately appears more stupid than he is, while actually being very sly and cunning. 

His track record speaks for itself. Remember when he ratted out Tom to Gerri about the cruises scandal? Classic Greg move. He even stole some paperwork to blackmail Tom and help Ken take down Logan. And let's not forget when he exposed Shiv's secret deal with Matsson to Ken. The guy knows how to play the game.

He also has the backing of his grandpa Ewan, which would not only come in handy, but be necessary when it would come to a board vote for approval.

Not only is Greg the most stomachable of the Roys to Mattson, but he also has some actual value to him. Greg is a cold-blooded killer who relishes firing people via Zoom at Waystar Royco. He's doing the dirty work that Tom wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Matsson is intrigued by it. He wants to know Greg's secret. How does he do it? And Greg, being the humble guy he is, simply replies, "I jackknife right in there and slit their throat." No remorse, no regrets. HR thinks he cares, but deep down, Greg is just playing the game.

Think about where Greg started with Mattson and the Swedes- being called a dingleberry.

Advertisement

To where he's at now - drinking blood with the boys and being called "sexy" by the guy.

Let's face it; it will definitely not be any of the Roy siblings who are a hot mess. They're too dumb, entitled, and messed up to be successful. None of them deserve a happy ending. Many people are saying Tom, but Tom is just as big a shitbag as his wife and her brothers. 

And I don't think Mattson respects him whatsoever.

And don't think it's gone unnoticed to Mattson that Greg shows zero allegiance to his extended family members. He's a true businessman at the end of the day. One that Mattson can rely on to be a true "puppet" to him. 

And ask yourself, have you ever seen a television character who has failed more yet fallen upward more than Greg The Egg?

I think everything ends badly for the Roy family on Sunday, with lots and lots of backstabbing, where Kendall, Roman, and Shiv all take each other down in a firestorm. Shiv could air out Kendall’s role in the waiter’s death from the Season 1, and his drug problem, as well as the issue of Roman’s dick pics to Gerri in Season 3. Kendall and Roman, could turn on Shiv and divulge that she convinced a Waystar rape victim to not press charges against the company. Just a total shit show that ensures none of them get the figurehead position. 

So, could Greg be the one to rise to the top? I'm definitely feeling like he could.

Sure, it will probably be a safer bet like Gerri or Frank, (aka somebody actually deserving of the title and of merit). Both of which would be extremely boring choices. But man would it would be poetic justice to see the goofy outsider, who we were introduced to while he puked in a theme park costume, outsmart all the entitled, calculating, ultra-wealthy Roys. Imagine Greg, the unlikely CEO of a media conglomerate. It's like a Hollywood underdog story, but with way more scheming and backstabbing.

The Play = Greg The Egg

p.s. - never forget. nobody falls upward like greg the egg

Advertisement