John Feitelberg Is An Idiot
Quick Note- Before writing that title I had to Google the spelling of "John Feitelberg" because even his name is stupid.
My esteemed editors here at Barstool had asked me earlier today if I could write a blog with a title that stated something painfully obvious… Almost like a "blogging challenge".
I was originally going to go with "Water Is Wet", but I opted instead for the equally incontrovertible "John Feitelberg Is An Idiot".
For people who didn't see it, Feits penned this little gem earlier this week…
Perhaps the editors tasked Feits with the same blogging challenge I am currently tackling because that title is also painfully obvious… 9/11 did change the world… Water is wet… Feits is an idiot.
But if you were one of the unfortunate readers that actually clicked on the blog and gave a casual glance at John's broken English, you would see the bulk of this grammatical abomination was stating "stuff" that wasn't so obvious and arguably wasn't so necessary to ever express out loud.
So 9/11 wasn’t all bad. Mostly bad, but glass like 95% empty, not all the way bad.
And the reasoning?
My Chemical Romance became a band because of 9/11.
Thousands of Americans dead in the biggest attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor, but it was "not all the way bad" because this mascara-wearing phoenix rose from the ashes of the dead in downtown NYC…
BUT WAIT!… THERE'S MORE!
You know Twilight? Well, it doesn’t happen without My Chemical Romance.
Yeah, I know Twilight, and it was fucking terrible. So even indirectly saying 9/11 has a bright side and that bright side is effeminate vampires is grounds for someone of even my limited intelligence to call you an idiot.
(So worth it.)
There's more in Feits' blog that is equally frustrating to read, but I don't think my commentary on it will hammer home the "idiot" accusation more than what I've already typed, so I will get to the point…
Am I mad at Feitelberg for writing this shit?
As a matter of fact, I love that goofy bastard, and the fact that I am diametrically opposed to every word he wrote last week has no bearing on how I feel about John.
He's a fantastic person… One of my favorites at the firm and beyond. Truth be told, I like him a lot better than his life partner.
(Fuck you too, Kevin… You shoulda told him to not blog that.)
And even though 9/11 left a slightly larger dent in my family than most, I don't expect people to make it a taboo topic on this blog.
I would expect people who are aware of my wife's story or the THOUSANDS OF OTHER stories that are MUCH worse than hers to show a little respect in the direct company of those who were gravely affected by the attacks, but otherwise, the "too soon" threshold for something that happened over 20 years ago has probably expired.
Last week, I wrote a blog that was scathing toward Nick Turani, and hundreds of people have reached out since asking me if my beef with him is real.
It is real, and without getting too granular, the damage Nick Moron-i has done is probably irreparable unless he finally "mans up" and apologizes to my sister.
I have no such beef with Feitelberg… Sure, he wrote a stupid blog, but as the author of MANY stupid blogs, it would be hypocritical for me to be butt-hurt.
Instead, I wrote this blog. And I wrote it on the eve of Memorial Day Weekend in the hope that it will serve as a reminder to NEVER FORGET.
Never forget those who have died in service to our country.
Never forget those innocent men and women slaughtered by filthy terrorists on 9/11.
And never forget that John Feitelberg is an idiot.
Take a report.
If you don't want to be like Feits… An idiot who hates America… Then I suggest you show some respect and watch the Coca-Cola 600 race this Sunday. At 600 miles, it's the longest race on NASCAR's schedule, and the event doubles as "600 Miles of Remembrance", with each car carrying the name of a member of the U.S. military who died in service to their country on the windshield in place of drivers' names.
The race is so long, it’ll have 4 stages. And after STAGE TWO, the full field will be brought down pit road and cars will be shut off for a moment of remembrance.
IMHO, there is no better way to close out Military Appreciation Month, and you can hear me, Spider, Liam, Quigs, and country star Jake Owen preview the race on this week's Rubbin' Is Racing…
Enjoy the long weekend, everyone.
God bless America and fuck Feits.