Live EventBarstool Sports Pick6 Central | Thursday, May 9th, 2024Watch Now
NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

I Accidentally Stole A Stranger's Air Pods, And I Feel Like Shit About It

Some days I genuinely wonder how I'm able to function in society. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but this is one of those instances in which I'm confident that no one else does this shit, or at least no one on that plane. Do you know what most people do on planes? Nothing. They sit down like normal humans and wait until the flight ends. But Mr. anxiety can't stay in one place for more than 10 minutes. I fidget and lose shit all the time. I can't stay still, and I've lost wallets, cards, earphones, and car keys because of it. A coworker recently told me I give off  "Nervous energy," and I either need to sit down or leave. They were probably right, but I'm going to throw out a wild guess and say that person was never lame enough to steal something ON ACCIDENT. There was one guy on that 30-minute flight today capable of accidentally making someone else's life inconvenient, and it's the dude who makes the Tigers videos. And I acknowledge I'm making a substantially bigger issue of this than most people would, but it annoys the shit out of me. Being normal for a day would be a nice change of pace.

But I want to do something good with this. I would probably put my fist through a wall if I came home from a trip without something I paid solid money for. So I'm putting this out there on the off chance that I can make this right. I promise I'll get you the hookup to the Tiger game of your choice if I ever get these back to you. That's a promise.