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Health Update: When it Comes to Prostate Cancer There Ain't No Easy Way Out...

angelp. Getty Images.

A little over a year ago, on May 10th, 2022, during a routine physical done in preparation for knee surgery, my doctor discovered that I had a high PSA number. I wasn't even sure what that was, I had to ask. It wasn't long after a prostate MRI and biopsy that I was diagnosed with full-blown Prostate Cancer. Not a great moment for me. That's when I began suffering from "situational anxiety and depression"…

It was a very difficult time for my family and me, but we got through it together. All the positive vibes sent on Barstool, Twitter, and Facebook were incredibly helpful. Thank you! 

As a result of my diagnosis, I've come to the realization that there are two kinds of people in this world, those who ask you how you're doing and those who don't. I'm sticking with those who ask…

I finished radiation therapy on February 23rd, and although I had an appointment with my Medical Oncologist four days later, the more important one was scheduled for Tuesday, May 23rd. This would tell us how well I responded to treatment…

On Tuesday, the ride from Norton to Dana-Farber in Boston at 8:00 am was horrible. There was a lot of traffic on the highway, and after I got off, I hit every traffic light, at times having to sit through several red lights before getting through certain intersections. I arrived for my blood draw 20 minutes late. Under my high school yearbook photo, I wrote, "I'll always be late!" and over the course of my life, I've remained true to that. I don't know how I did it, but despite running late to an important medical appointment, I remained surprisingly calm, and when they checked my vitals, my blood pressure was normal…

I never look on my phone for my Patient Gateway test results, which are available shortly after the blood draw. Instead, I choose to wait and let my doctor explain the results to me, fearing I could misread them and jump to scary conclusions. This Tuesday was no different.

When my Medical Oncologist came into the room, I tried to read his face, but he must be an incredible poker player because there wasn't any indication one way or another. So I waited for him to explain the results…

He began by telling me my Testosterone level was at 600, which according to him, was nothing short of miraculous, especially considering I was on a testosterone blocker, which is considered chemical castration. I hate the sound of that. I'd rather hear someone drag a metal rake across a chalkboard…

He went on to say he usually sees that kind of turnaround (0-600) in much younger guys, but very few my age (66). So, my testosterone level is back to normal. I kind of suspected my testosterone was coming back when I stopped wanting to watch Hallmark movies and sharing a box of tissues with my wife. I was getting more aggressive too. I wanted to fight the bagger at Shaw's because he put my eggs under the canned goods. A little ass-kicking might've taught him a lesson, though. "What are they teaching these kids, is there no training?"

I spoke with a friend who's a Urologist, and he said the question, "Are you getting morning wood?" is actually a medical question he asks his patients all the time. It may fall in the category of "more than you need to know," but I'm actually answering that question in the affirmative. If I'm being honest, I missed my morning wood! Welcome back motherfucker! 

(Re)Take your place in the driver's seat…

This Urologist is in his mid-thirties and is a respected member of the medical community, and when he complained to me about the dating scene in Miami, all I could respond with was, "I'm the wrong person to tell. Due to my prostate issues, I'm not even dating myself yet!"

"That girl is so fucking hot, one look at her, and I can't keep my hands off myself!" 

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Testosterone is responsible for energy, sex drive, muscle development, and recovery, but it's also the food of prostate cancer. The more testosterone, the quicker the cancer grows. It's like spinach to Popeye's muscles. More is not always better, depending on your prostate health.

The most important test result will always be the PSA number. My PSA number spiked at 12.8 when I was first diagnosed, and after hormone suppression therapy (Lupron), which is actually a testosterone blocker, the number dropped to 2.03, and then again, three months later, to .09. 

The biggest concern was what my PSA number would be after hormone suppression therapy ended and the radiation treatments, 44 of them, were complete. With a testosterone level of 600, where would my PSA number be? 

My Medical Oncologist told me I have plenty of healthy PSA-producing prostate, and because of that,  I'd still have a number greater than zero, especially with a healthy testosterone level… My PSA was .29. Post-treatment, anything less than two is good. Less than one is even better.

The battle isn't over, I'll still need to do blood draws every three months to make sure my PSA level doesn't suddenly spike, but according to my Medical Oncologist, if it does increase, he has a treatment plan for that too. Good to know…

When it comes to Prostate Cancer, there ain't no easy way out…

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
Hey I, will stand my ground
And I won't back down
No, I won't back down…