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Getting Shot In The Ass Seems Like A Reasonable Punishment For The Crime Of Taking Your Roommate's Last Hot Pocket

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KENTUCKY -- A man was shot over the weekend in Louisville, and police say it was over a Hot Pocket.

The Louisville Metro Police Department arrested 64-year-old Clifton Williams on Sunday after they said he shot his roommate following an argument in the Wyandotte neighborhood.

Police said that Williams' roommate had eaten the last Hot Pocket, so he started throwing tiles at him. Arrest slips say that the roommate tried to leave, but Williams went inside and got a gun. The man was then shot in the buttocks as he was trying to leave, according to police.

It's difficult to give the final ruling here without proper context. But if I were a betting man, I'd assume this wasn't the first time this man has had to tell his roommate to not eat his Hot Pockets. I'd venture to guess it wasn't the 5th or 6th time, either. You don't shoot a man in the ass unless you've had to tell this prick a million times already to keep his grubby little hands off your Hot Pockets. First couple of times you just curse at him under your breath. 3rd or 4th time you might hit him with a little smack to the sack. 5th or 6th you might have to throw a punch. Only after that do you resort to shooting the dude in the ass. 

I'm not trying to victim blame here or anything, but you gotta hear both sides of the story. 

And there's really nothing worse than when you've been looking forward to something all day long, only to come back home to the gutless betrayal of your roommate taking that away from you. I bet our guy over here had a brutal week. A week from hell. All he had to do was get through his last shift at work on Sunday, and then he could come home to fire up that Hot Pocket and finally relax for a few minutes. That Hot Pocket was probably the only thing getting him through his day. You can't blame the man for snapping once he realized it was gone. And if I know a shitty roommate who would eat someone's last Hot Pocket like I think I do, I bet that sack of shit didn't even bother to throw out the box. Just left an empty box in the freezer for his roommate to come home to. 

All I'm saying is that I'll be very curious to see how the Kentucky judicial system takes care of this one. I think it would set a dangerous precedent to allow shitty roommates to eat the other's final Hot Pocket and get away with it scot free. Getting shot in the ass might be a little extreme, but it's far from life-threatening. File this under "no harm, no foul".