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Artsy Prisoner Shoved Some Crafting Tools Up The Ole Poop Shoot And It Was Possibly The Worst Tool To Choose

Giphy Images.

As a normal part of entering the LaPorte County jail, an arrestee must undergo a body scan. Initially, the suspect refused but he later agreed to participate.

An officer reviewing the scan noticed a foreign object inside the anal cavity of the arrestee. The man was moved for an additional search.

Lieutenant Jeff Holt conducted a second body scan and discovered, “Upon review of the newly scanned image, he noticed the foreign object had moved and he was able to positively identify the object as scissors - still inside the anal cavity of the arrestee.”

A short time later, the scissors were removed from the arrestee without incident.

Back in my day, we called scissoring something else. And by something else I mean a little lesbian activity that absolutely dominated my search history from the ages of 23 to 27. Something about it was fascinating and, needless to say, erotic. I'd watch and think, "damn. This is fuckin wild How does that even feel good?" That's right. Im admitting that I had no idea what the ole clit was until I was around 28. Those things are complicated!

Anyway, different experience here altogether but that's what people do when they really love to craft. I'm not much of a crafting guy. I prefer my art in the written variety. I love to just sit down on a lonesome mountain's countryside and let my fingers to the walking down a literary trail while the birds chirp and the wildflowers release their scent into the air. Gorgeous! 

Now, while I appreciate the artsy initiative, I can't help but say this was a prime example of good initiative and bad judgment. Why? Well, the anus can be very delicate and cannot take sharp objects inserted in that bad boy because, lest we forget, the anus is prone to injury.

Storing things in your anus can be extremely dangerous and should be strongly discouraged. The anus is not designed for storage purposes and inserting objects into it can lead to a variety of serious health risks. Here are some of the dangers associated with storing things in your anus:

The tissues in the rectum and anus are delicate and can easily be torn or damaged by foreign objects. Sharp or large objects can cause internal injuries, lacerations, or perforations, leading to bleeding, infection, or even damage to nearby organs.

Look I know that engaging in such activities can be associated with certain fetishes or risky behavior. It's essential to consider the potential emotional and psychological consequences of engaging in activities that could be harmful to oneself. Like fissures. Buddy, you do not want an anal fissure or any other type of fissure and that's all I'll say about that. 

Anyway, hard to blame this fella for sneakin in some craft materials. Now, some say scissors can be a tool used for violence. After all, you can kill someone with scissors. I know. It sounds fuckin wild but it's true. 

If it were me - which it kinda has been - I'd stick to drawing. 

Or this video which is fuckin awesome. The ingenuity here is baffling.