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Major Red Flag Alert: Celtics Head Coach Joe Mazzulla Says He Watches The Movie “The Town” Four Times PER WEEK

GQ- As was first reported in January, Mazzulla screens the 2010 Ben Affleck crime drama The Town, which has a runtime of two hours and four minutes, four times a week. When asked how that relates to the Celtics, he said that it’s “just a Boston mindset.” 

When news of his The Town obsession first emerged, Mazzulla was the interim head coach, following head coach Ime Udoka’s suspension for inappropriate behavior. In February, Mazzulla was permanently installed in the job—at which point he was seemingly free to fully unleash his The Town agenda onto the team. 

On May 14th, at the press conference following the team’s game seven win, he wore a sweatshirt emblazoned with the quote, “Whose car we gonna take?”

NESN spoke to Celtics guard Malcolm Brogdon, who explained Mazzulla’s The Town-maxxing had taken hold of the entire team, at least in regards to that specific quote. 

“I think it’s ‘Whose car are we taking?’ I think that’s the saying,” Brogdon told NESN. “And it’s basically just ride or die for your guys, the guys you’re on the court with, the guys you’re competing with. It’s having the mentality: it doesn’t matter what we’re going to get into, we’re going to do it together.”

But why is Mazzulla so obsessed? It may just be that he’s squarely in the movie’s demographic. If Mazzulla, who’s 34, first saw the film when it was released, he would’ve been around 21 years old—primo “put a poster of The Town up in your off-campus apartment” age. Also, the movie’s sick. Maybe not “watch it four times a week” sick, but excellent nonetheless—one of the finest products of the Ben Affleck Boston Movie Industrial Complex. 

Listen, I love a good-to-great Ben Affleck directed film, (especially one flush with over the top Boston stereotypes) as much as the next guy. But are you fucking kidding me Joe?

“It’s never gonna be me, and you, and your sister, and Shyne up there playing house” Joe. Ever.

And I know you got thrown to the wolves wayyyyyy prior to schedule because your guy Ime liked dipping his pen in the boss’ ink, but you’re not gonna win a championship behaving like this either. That’s just a fact.

I fully agree that the themes of brotherhood and friendship run deep in the movie, and those are GREAT for camaraderie, but know what else is fucking great? Calling a timeout, ONE single timeout, during a 46 point Heat 3rd quarter performance.     

Even the florist would have applauded that move. And he doesn’t give anybody the slightest once of credit for shit.

Now I reserve the right to retract my statements that watching this movie: nay, watching ANY movie 4 times a week, for months and years, is straight up psychotic behavior- if and only if the Celts come out for the layup line wearing the nun masks for the bank heist scene. If they do that, not only will it be extremely bad ass, but it will strike fear in, and send a message to Jimmy and the boys that they’re done getting pushed around in their own building, and probably result in them rattling off 8 wins and hoisting the championship trophy in a few weeks.

Make it happen Mazulla.