A Massive Fist Fight Between Families Broke Out At Disney World Over A Photo Op Spot (BONUS: Power Ranking The Disney World Parks By How Much They Make You Want To Bash Someone's Brain In)
Look, I know that Disney is known as the Happiest Place On Earth and all that mumbo jumbo that The Mouse has been shoving down our throat for decades. But as someone that just went to Disney twice in a month, I'm actually shocked we don't see more videos like this kinda like the car dealership fight I blogged recently.
Sure when you enter the theme parks, you are greeted with nothing but smiles and memories so thick you have to brush them away from your face. But you know what else you are greeted with? The Florida heat, crazy lines, jacked up prices everywhere you look, and your family that you have been spending every waking hour with. Sooner or later, a couple of people are going to hit the zenith point of their Fuck Around And Find Out chart and the result is the video above.
As for where the fight takes place, you would think the likely spot would be while waiting in a 2+ hour line for a children's ride that is 30 seconds long. But that's where the simmering of one's soul takes place. The anger slowly boils inside then grows with every kid's tantrum and $12 order of chicken tenders.
That anger explodes when nobody expects, which is at the photo spots since only one person in the family actually wants to take those pictures (*cough cough the mom*) that inevitably end with one kid blinking, another making a face, and the parents questioning why they added another mortgage to make this trip.
(Source)- A day wasn't so magic for two families at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom after an apparent disagreement over a photo op led to punches and an all-out fight. The fight happened Monday afternoon at Disney's Magic Kingdom theme park just past the entrance gates and in front of a 100th Anniversary sign, celebrating 100 years of The Walt Disney Company.
The Orange County Sheriff's Office said it responded to the theme park around 2:30 p.m. on Monday. Apparently one family was standing in front of the sign, where another family wanted to take a photo. That family asked the other family to move – and one family member then punched another member of the other family in the face.
So yeah, I'm not going to blame these families for engaging in fisticuffs in the Magic Kingdom or even outside the Magic Kingdom's gates since even the most levelheaded person can become a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker after a few days in Orlando. All it may take is some rando not allowing you to get the perfect view of a cartoon mouse made out of flowers to set you off after the usual chaos in the hotel room followed by the commute over in the Disney bus, or even worse the parking trolley.
If anything, I'm going to shout out the dude in the tanktop for eating punches from 10 different angles by a family wearing matching outfits, which I feel makes them a dangerous family to fight with since they clearly are a coordinated group. Dude kept fighting the good fight, even after going down like an AT-AT in Empire.
I'd also like the shoutout the cameramen for seamlessly using the zoom feature on their phone instead of walking to get closer to the fight. You log enough steps every single day in Disney. No need to add a few more to your odometer and risk some dude in a fanny pack sucker punching you from the blindside because they thought you were rushing to help out the guy their family is attempting to curb stomp to Mickey's Emergency Room.
BONUS: Power Ranking The Disney World Parks By How Much They Make You Want To Bash Someone's Brain In
1. Epcot- A park filled with boring educational rides and a bunch of countries that encourages people to drink around the world is made for fights. As I type this out, I am FLOORED that I have never seen a fight take place at Epcot because while I may be a happy drunk, I have seen plenty of angry drunks. And dopey drunks. And sleepy drunks. And bashful drunks. And even some sneezy drunks along with drunks who act like doctors when they are loaded, which has me wondering if the dwarves from Snow White are actually based on different type of drunks since that feels like something they would've done back then.
Anyway, moving along…
2. Magic Kingdom- The smallest yet most popular park is a perfect recipe for brawl. However, Magic Kingdom also has the most rides and best vibes of all the parks, which diffuses a lot of situations. That being said, there is no place and time in Disney World more likely for a powder keg to explode than at the fireworks where people wait around for hours to watch a fireworks show.
At the end of our Disney Boys trip, we heard one dad say to another “You heard me, asshole. Don’t fucking stand in front of me” while they both had their kids on their shoulders waiting for the fireworks with a tone that was just begging for the guy to talk back. I'm not sure if it would've led to a dad fight or an extremely rare dry land chicken fight. But it would've been fun and I would've had it in 4K for you guys.
3. Animal Kingdom- Lots of walking, not a lot of rides, and I feel like being around a bunch of animals brings out the primal side of man. The Avatar ride also had a 5+ hour long wait when I went there, which is more ridiculous than anything James Cameron threw on the screen in either of those movies that have a combined runtime almost as long as people waited for that ride.
4. Hollywood Studios- Everything is pretty well spaced out. The nerds can happily nerd out in Star Wars Land while kids can happily chill out in the good vibes of Toy Story Land (outside of that dastardly bastard Slinky Dog).