Power Ranking What NBA Team Should Win The Victor Wembanyama Draft Lottery Tonight (Bonus: The Best NBA Draft Conspiracy Theories)

Here are your NBA Draft Lottery odds tonight: 

Now tonight is more than just the NBA Draft Lottery. We're talking about the potential for Victor Wembanyama, the most hyped draft prospect arguably since LeBron. Don't get me wrong, Scoot Henderson at No. 2 ain't too shabby, but this is the Victor draft heading into it. The dude is a unicorn, I don't know how else to describe it besides that overused term: 

The NBA Draft Lottery is one of my favorite things because, well, I'm a nerd. I love the Draft, I do my own mock drafts, I breakdown all the possible moves, shit even in a past life I did scouting for agencies on players. I'm talking the real nerdy shit like where hips are on defense and certain shooting forms. But my favorite part? Thinking of all the conspiracy theories. There's nothing like a good Draft conspiracy theory …. ahem, Chief, Chicago and Bedard. 

I'll be honest, there aren't that many conspiracy theories in this year's NBA Draft Lottery, which is weird considering a Kyrie-led team is there. So instead of trying to force the conspiracy theory - outside of the NBA wanting him in the USA over Toronto - we'll power rank the teams that should win the lottery. 

14. Dallas Mavericks

These sons of bitches tanked to ruin the Knicks. I hope everyone jumps you in the lottery. 

13. Indiana Pacers

Simple here. Fuck Reggie Miller. Nothing good should happen to the Pacers. 

12. Chicago Bulls

You already got Bedard. You already got the new Barstool office. How many good things can happen to Chicago? Have you watched the Chicago guys lately? Chief is riding a little too high for my liking and Chief is a pal. Also the Bulls ruined my childhood and I like to hold a grudge. 

11. Toronto Raptors 


They might lose Fred VanVleet, already got rid of Nick Nurse. I don't know, they just feel like a team that's there. I don't ever go out of my way to watch them. If they want to back to the old pinstripe dinosaur jersey full time, I'd put them a couple spots higher. The definition of whatever team. 

10. Charlotte Hornets

Sure, him and LaMelo would be fun together. I'd also laugh at all the stories of Jordan coming out to practice and challenging him to 1-on-1 because too many people are talking about Victor. But again we're talking Charlotte here. No one really cares about them, feels like he'd just be on an at-best mediocre team forever. 

9. Washington Wizards

I don't want Eastern Conference teams to get too much help but like Dame, I feel bad for Bradley Beal. Well, not bad, he's rich as shit. But the Wizards could be fun with Beal, Kuzma and Victor. 

8. Utah Jazz

Fucking Danny Ainge. At least they didn't tank. But come on, I can't have Danny Ainge win again, especially in Utah. Can't have Victor playing in the worst jerseys in the league. 

7. New Orleans Pelicans

The Pelicans are great at getting a No. 1 pick and having it fail. Time to change that. You had Davis force a trade out. You have Zion not playing games and potentially being fat. What's the opposite of fat? Victor Wembanyama. Great 1-2 right there. 

6. Detroit Pistons

Old school franchise that needs some help badly. That's why they are here. Shit this franchise won multiple NBA titles in my lifetime. But right now they are just … bad. Get Cade healthy, get him Victor. At least give Detroit some hope outside of the Lions. 

5. Houston Rockets

This team stunk, but they do have some pieces to be fun. That's the key here. Can Vic go to a place where it's fun and make them entertaining. We know the Rockets are linked to James Harden and I can't think of a better person to mentor Vic in Houston than Jimmy Harden. 

4. Orlando Magic

The Magic would actually be fun as shit with Vic. You have Paolo coming off the ROY. You have a group of guys like Franz Wagner, Cole Anthony, Markelle Fultz, Jalen Suggs, Wendell Carter. Shit, that's a young, fun team that's basically college All-Stars. Throw in Wemby and they'd be entertaining as hell. 

3. Portland Trail Blazers

Someone, anyone, please help Dame Lillard out. The man is coming out multiple times a year to say he wants to stay in Portland but … why? Get him Vic and rejuvenate the franchise. 

2. San Antonio Spurs

Going from Robinson to Duncan to Victor all while having Pop run around would be hilarious. People would lose their shit over the Spurs winning again, and by people I mean Celtics fans not over the Duncan sweepstakes. Give them one more run with Pop and let Victor be the next dominant big man there. 

1. Oklahoma City Thunder 

Hell yes. I'm not just saying this because a co-worker who 100% knows who I am has a family member involved here. I'm saying this because Chet-Wemby frontcourt would be fucking hilarious. The Thunder are fun, they didn't tank this year and have a legit star in SGA. Make this team even more fun with Wemby and Chet being aliens up top and weighing a combined 205 pounds. 

There you have it. A reason for all the 14 teams.

BONUS: A trip down memory lanes with the best conspiracy theories in NBA Draft Lottery history, one of my favorite blogs I do every year: 

David Kahn claims the NBA is rigged

[Source] - "This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines. Last year it was Abe Pollin's widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy (Nick Gilbert, son of the Cavs owner) and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told (Jazz GM Kevin O'Connor): 'We're toast.' This is not happening for us and I was right."

That was a quote by Kahn after he lost to Nick Gilbert (RIP) and the Cavs in 2011 for Kyrie Irving. The Wolves had the No. 2 pick and took Derrick Williams, who, yeah, hasn't been worth the No. 2 pick. Pretty sure  you want Kyrie there. Oh, why is he so pissed? Just so happened that the Wolves had the worst record in the NBA that year and the best odds to land the No. 1 pick. Yeah, nothing to see here. Although, Kahn may have tried to draft Johnny Flynn again. Who knows. Either way what a quote from an NBA GM, nothing like attacking your league and a 14 year old kid.


The Pelicans jump up to the top spot to get Zion the year they trade Anthony Davis, hmmm the Lakers too? 

This might be the biggest crock of shit I've ever seen. The Lakers jump up to the 4th spot, making it easier for them to trade for Anthony Davis? Oh and the team that's trading Anthony Davis gets the No. 1 pick and the most hyped rookie since LeBron? Fuck outta here.

Dikembe Mutombo predicts the future 

Oh, just a harmless tweet right? Oh, wait. That was tweeted at 1:36 pm. The lottery doesn't happen at 1:36 pm. He deleted the tweet, but not before everyone ran with it, especially when the Sixers did win the lottery later that night to draft Ben Simmons. Oh and his apology, where he says there's no conspiracy and just a mistake? Okay, Dikembe. I may not be able to score against you at the rim, but I can read what you're giving here. What mistake? You knew and you tweeted it out. That was the mistake. Oh, this next one was no mistake.

 Irene Pollin and the Wizards get the No. 1 pick after her husband dies

Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.


This picture is just so perfect. Everyone's reactions sums up the NBA Lottery so much. In this case, Irene Pollin was there to represent the Wizards. Just months before this her husband and owner of the team Abe Pollin died of a rare brain disease. Now, the conspiracy theorists will say because Abe was so beloved and John Wall was the clear No. 1 pick here, the NBA rigged it in order to help out the team that was suffering a bit. They had the 5th worst odds, so the jump was pretty drastic as you can tell by Irene's face here. Oh, it was also the season with Gilbert Arenas decided to bring guns to the locker room. I miss the old Wizards teams.

Derrick Rose gets to stay home as a long shot

Jesse D. Garrabrant. Getty Images.

The Bulls desperately needed some help here. They were floating in no-mans land ever since Jordan left and a decade without having Chicago relevant meant it was somewhat bad for business. They had the Jay Williams situation. They had missed on some picks and here they were with just a 1.8% chance to have the top pick. Who was the top pick that year? Oh, just this guy Derrick Rose who happened to be from Chicago. Yeah, I'm sure that wouldn't help the team at all. Nope, nothing fishy here to help a once proud franchise try to get back to some glory days. Nothing to get the No. 1 pick back home for ratings. Nope.

LeBron to Cleveland

Oh, yeah the Akron kid wasn't going to stay at home. SURE. Either way, this is hilarious just for Gordon Gund's comment followed by laughter. Shit, even Tirico knows that the NBA wanted LeBron in Cleveland for the narratives. They were tied for the worst record with the Nuggets and it's not like there were a bunch of big time markets that they could put LeBron in. The five worst odds that year were Cleveland, Denver, Detroit, Toronto and Miami.

Frozen Envelope


One of the most talked about conspiracy theories in all of sports. The 1985 lottery, better known as the frozen envelope. Personally, I applaud the NBA for rigging the lottery the first time around. Let everyone know you mean business. In this case the legend is there was either a frozen envelope or an envelope with a bend in it for the Knicks so Stern knew which one to pull. The NBA desperately wanted the biggest market to have the best player coming out of college, so they rigged it. Personally, I don't think they rig it enough for the Knicks.