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Dumping Them Out: Happy MILF's Day

Welcome back to a special Mother's Day edition of Dumping Them Out. Unfortunately, at the current time, Barstool Sports is without a MILF guy. I'm personally underqualified for the position, but I do know a thing or 2 about GIFs. I have a feeling if I search "hot mom GIFs", I'll be given wide range of voluptuous mother's for us to help celebrate the holiday with.

Again, I would never proclaim myself to be the Barstool Sports MILF Guy. I simply don't have the knowledge for it. I have too many questions about MILF's. I'm not even sure I can identify a MILF. I know the obvious answer is, "If she has a child, then she's MILF eligible." But I don't think it's that cut and dry.

Say a hypothetical person lost his virginity in college to a girl who was younger than him, but she had a kid. Could this hypothetical person claim to have had sex with a MILF? Technically, yes. But describing the woman as a MILF, doesn't seem like an accurate portrayal.

Now that I'm 31 years old, I have a good amount of friends with kids, so technically that makes their wives MILFs as well. But it doesn't seem right to call a 29 year old mother with an 8 month old baby a MILF. 

You know what.. that's enough about MILF's. I could give MILF thoughts for hours, but I don't want to spell it all out. I just read back my first 3 paragraphs and I feel like I'm going down a borderline creepy road here. I'm also pretty sure my mom reads these, so I'll just kill the MILF talk. Happy Mother's Day mom. Sorry about that.

So Ja Morant waved a gun around on Instagram Live again. 

I saw a lot of people getting their jokes off this morning, but how about instead of scolding Ja Morant for brandishing a weapon on social media for the second time this season, let's focus on the positives. How about the 2 consecutive months where he didn't flash a weapon on the internet? People act like flashing a gun on online is something you can just stop doing overnight. It's not that simple. I grew up around addiction, and it's not always the addicts fault. Alcoholics rarely get 100% sober on their first try. It's takes work. Heroin addicts, porn addicts, whoever. It's a long journey to recovery, and sometimes you're going to slip up along the way. I believe in Ja. Not that he'll never wave a pistol on camera again. I'm sure it'll happen a handful more times. But if he continues working the steps, gives himself up to a higher power, and puts forth his best effort, by the time he's retired from the league I bet he'll barely be waving guns at all. 

BONUS MOM FACT: I was curious what Google would say if I Googled "most famous mom". According to Google, the most famous mom in the world is Chrissy Teigen. Congratulations Chrissy Teigen.

Giphy Images.

My favorite companies are the one's who completely rip off another company, and their entire sales pitch is "You know that company with the product everyone loves? Well actually we have the same thing but it's better and cheaper." It cracks me up every time. Oh really? You don't say? There's about 10 companies right now who are trying to do this to Lululemon. It just doesn't work. Unless they're going to start putting the Lululemon logo on their clothes, people are still gonna buy from them instead. America is dumb like that. 

Anybody interested in a video of a white man who speaks in a Chinese accent? If so, I've got you covered.

I would love to have Chinese accent. Although, I wonder if this guy has ever gotten his ass kicked because someone thinks he's making fun of them. I'd imagine he could save himself by proving to them that he can speak fluent Madarin, but if I was a Chinese man, and a blonde haired white guy came up to me and started speaking English in a Chinese accent, it might be my first reaction to punch him in the nose.

Speaking of people who have multiple accents, after every episode of Succession where the actors recap the episode I'm shocked that half of them are British. I don't know how they flip accents like that without fucking up. Wouldn't you just accidently slip into a different accent? Or gradually start blending them together? Also there are so many fucking actors in the world. You'd think if you wanted a British accent that you'd just pick a British actor. Or if you wanted an American accent you'd just pick an American actor. I feel like it would be a kick in the dick to lose out on a role to an actor who has to do a voice to play the part.