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AJ Pierzynski Wanted The Braves To Put Him On The IL With 'Anal Fissures' When They Were Giving Him A Fake Injury

We've all seen baseball teams put guys on the injured list with fake ailments. It happens routinely, but it's never with anything cool. It's always that the reliever who gave up six runs in a third of an inning the night before now just so happens to have forearm tightness and needs 15 days to take a rest.

AJ Pierzynski, however, wanted to have some fun with it when he was told he was going to be the recipient of a phantom IL stint.

Not that it matters because nothing has ever been done about this ubiquitous practice, but I'd be far more inclined to believe a player suffered an anal fissure than hamstring tightness that seemed to appear out of nowhere — Pierzynski was a 39-year-old catcher at the time, so I guess neither are really unbelievable. Who would lie about that?

I'm disappointed in the Braves for taking themselves too seriously for this. They lost 93 games the season this took place; what's an anal fissure IL stint at that point? It was also that same season that Erick Aybar had to be scratched from the lineup one day because he choked on a chicken bone during lunch and had to go to the hospital to have it removed. The more I think about it, the 2016 Braves actually deserved an AJ Pierzynski anal fissure IL stint.

I'm glad Pierzynski has fully recovered and I hope the Braves' health insurance covered what Dunder Mifflin's wouldn't.