Every New Yorker Should Be Willing To Trade Parking Spaces In Exchange For Getting Rid Of The Disgusting, Godzilla-Sized Rats That Torment This City


Yes. Say no more, yes. Don't even have to read the article, yes. 1,000 times, yes. The fact that it's 2023 and the streets of NYC are lined with disgusting, rotten, smelly garbage every single night is asinine. It's like we're living in the Dark Ages, it's disgusting. But shockingly, that's not even the most disgusting part of it- the rats are.

I am not exaggerating when I say this- the other night on my walk home from getting snacks at the bodega on the corner, I saw no fewer than 100 rats. This was in the span of a 2 minute walk. It looked like something out of a horror movie. They run around like it's the rat zombie apocalypse, absolutely terrorizing the sidewalks and everyone walking on them. And these things aren't cute little mice- they are dinosaur sized monstrosities who will haunt your nightmares when one scurries right over your feet, not a god damn care in the world. 

It's legitimately insane this city has not been able to figure out the rat problem. How have we not poisoned them all by now? I don't give a fuck if it "hurts the ecosystem" or whatever if you put down poison, FUCK the ecosystem. I don't care if some birds die as a result. According to my brain, we have more rats than people at this point and something's gotta give.

And that something might have to be parking spaces. And that is a trade-off I'm willing to make. As it is, this city has way too many cars and way too much traffic. It was not designed for every 3rd car to be an Uber. Traffic right now is as bad as I've ever seen during my 6 years living here. Also, side note, the Subway is crazy convenient. I didn't take it very often my first 5 years living here, but year 6, I love it. Gets you from point A to point B so easily. You just gotta avoid the occasional car with the man who pooped himself, but besides that, it's great.

Parking spaces though? See ya, dinks. Yeah it'll make life harder for some people, but that's what they said when outdoor dining became a thing in 2020, and now I cannot believe it took until 2020 for us to eat meals outside in New York City. I mean seriously, how did it take so long???? But we took parking spaces away for that, and the City has been thriving. Now we should do it again to get rid of these fucking monsters they call rats. Call me old fashioned, but we gotta put a limit on the number of cars in this city as it is, so if eliminating parking helps do that, I'm all for it. Let's all come together and agree the rats should not run this city anymore, and cars take up too much space as it is. It's high time to catch up to the rest of the world.