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Who should I curse next?

There is a small phenomenon that has occurred over the last year in conjunction with a podcast I host... Twisted History.

Simply put, every now and again, I will bring up a celebrity's name in relation to a subject we are discussing and that celebrity promptly drops dead within days of the podcast going live.

If you go back and listen to the Twisted History of Feel Good Stories from December of 2021, I took the time to tell my small audience about Betty White’s decision to hire a black dancer on her variety show, even though there was a backlash from some of her Southern affiliates. 

It was groundbreaking at the time, and she was a good person for doing it.

Well… Betty died within a week of that pod dropping. 

At 99 years old, it would be myopic for me to believe that my pithy comments were somehow the straw that finally broke that old camel's back, but enough people mentioned the timing that it made me think.

In that same episode, I told a story about John Madden that I had heard years earlier from my good friend Jerry Thornton.  

Jerry's Madden story about John's relationship with Darryl Stingley, who was paralyzed after being hit by Jack Tatum, stuck with me, so I told it during the Feel Good episode.

Well... John died the day after the podcast dropped.

He was 85 and morbidly obese, but, again, listeners mentioned the coincidence, so it made me think.

Fast forward to September of 2022, and I spent some time on an episode of Twisted History talking about King Louis XIV.

He was King of France from 1643 (when he was only 4 years old) until his death in 1715 (at the age of 76). His reign of 72 years and 110 days is the longest recorded of any monarch of a sovereign country in history.

hrstklnkr. Getty Images.

Out&About with Louis XIV

I went on to mention that Queen Elizabeth II was close on Louis' heels… At the time of taping, that old bitch was around 70 years in office making her easily the longest-reigning incumbent monarch… But I also pointed out that England needed to keep her 96-year-old ass propped up on the throne for another 2 years if she was gonna beat Louis XIV.  And then I closed that discussion by saying, "I would gladly take the under."

Two days later, I hit on that hypothetical under when Elizabeth died peacefully with two of her spoiled-rotten children, Charles and Anne, by her side.

Her death certificate recorded her cause of death as "old age", but I couldn't help but think my podcast should've also been mentioned on that paper.

So Madden, Betty White, and Queen Elizabeth.  A threesome that you probably wouldn't want to be paired with at a public course (I imagine the Queen would take FOREVER lining up putts, even though she is laying 8).  A threesome that very few people would want to see having an actual threesome (porn).  And a threesome that was… At least in part… Killed by the Twisted History podcast.

Fast forward again to just last week, and Vibbs, Saint Anne, Jack Coleman, and I were recording the Twisted History of Double Jeopardy.

For people who read, you know that you can't talk about double jeopardy within the United States without bringing up Emmet Till.  And for people who paid attention in school, you know you can't talk about the Till case without mentioning a lying cunt named Carolyn Bryant.

Bettmann. Getty Images.

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(Carolyn is the liar on the left.)

Carolyn's inflated recollection of what 14-year-old Emmet did to her in a candy store in Mississippi n 1955 led to her husband and his friend hunting down Till, kidnapping him, and ultimately forcing the boy to carry a 75-pound cotton gin fan to the bank of the Tallahatchie River. That is where the two men then beat Till nearly to death, gouged out his eye, shot him in the head, and then threw his body, tied to the cotton gin fan with barbed wire, into the river.

It's an important story to tell because it essentially started the Civil Rights movement here in the US… Rosa Parks would refuse to move to the back of the bus just a few months later, and In 1963, eight years to the day after Till’s death, some 250,000 people gathered for the March On Washington where MLK gave the iconic “I have a dream” speech.

But back to that aforementioned cunt, Carolyn Bryant.

There are many versions of what happened when Emmet entered the candy store that day… Including many versions from Carolyn herself.

One version is that Till simply whistled at Bryant.  

But Carolyn upped the ante and later claimed Till insulted her.  

And later than that, she claimed Emmet touched her hand. 

Finally, in the courtroom at the trial of Till's killers (including her husband), she claimed that 14-year-old Emmet Till grabbed her, followed her, and used sexually crass language to harass her.

That testimony was one of the reasons Emmet's killers were acquitted of all charges within an hour once the all-white jury began deliberation (while pounding beers in the jury room).

Bettmann. Getty Images.

(Carolyn celebrating the verdict with 2 murderers.)

And one jury member told reporters it wouldn’t have taken that long if they didn’t stop to take a smoke break. 

How's this tie into double jeopardy?

Years later, one of the killers told Look magazine the truth of what happened to Emmet, but he could not be tried for the same crime twice, and similarly, Carolyn Bryant in a non-taped 2007 interview said that her testimony was a lie. 

If that doesn't fucking infuriate you, here is a picture of Emmet Till…

Bettmann. Getty Images.

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And here is a picture of Emmet's beaten and bloated corpse after Carolyn Bryant's lies sentenced him to death AND allowed his executioners to walk free…

Scott Olson. Getty Images.

If that STILL doesn't infuriate you, congrats on being racist as fuck.

Either way, I am happy to report that the Twisted History of Double Jeopardy was recorded on April 25th, and just HOURS LATER, Carolyn dropped dead.  She was 88 and was reported to have had cancer, in hospice care. 

Betty White was 99… John Madden was 88… Queen Elizabeth was 95… Carolyn was 88.  So none of my "victims" were young enough to buy green bananas, but after Bryant's death, I am hoping that the Twisted History Curse has some merit.

So much so, I just recorded the Twisted History of Kidnapping, and within the episode, I purposefully place the curse on two absolutely DESPICABLE human beings… 

68-year-old Richard Allen Davis… He is currently on death row at San Quentin State Prison in California.

AND

88-year-old Josef Fritzl who is up for parole later this year.

Google these two "teaspoons of cum" if you'd like, or hear all about them on this week's episode…

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And I am sure you'll agree that both deserve to be choking on some demon dicks in hell alongside Queen Elizabeth Carolyn Bryant.

Take a report.

-Large