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A Cockroach Walked The Red Carpet At Last Night's Met Gala, It Was Not On Theme Nor Was It Welcome, Yet Photographers Went Crazy For It


Look, I know I know, "in NEWWW YORRKKKK" whatever. The fact that these revolting beasts don't even have the common decency to stay the fuck away from Fashion's Most Important Night, gives me no hope for the future of this city. Eric Adams thought the RATS ran this town?? Wake up bro. It's the fucking cockroaches. 

Do you know how much a Met Gala ticket COSTS?!

FIFTY G's, brother. You don't even have a WALLET tucked into that physically repulsive exoskeleton, I know for a fact you don't got it like that. Anna Wintour would've stepped on your mind AND your body if she hadn't already been whisked away into the bowels of the museum, braiding Kim Kardashian and Jared Leto's hair together. 

Now, I recognize your work is long lasting. It's hard to deny you haven't made a splash over the past 40 billion years. And with the reputation of potentially being the sole survivors of a nuclear attack, I can see why you would feel entitled to be in a place with this much respect for the craft flying around. I'm here to tell you - it's not for you. You're a garbage dweller, sir. Not a fashion icon. You got lost after you jumped off of a black trash bag in Central Park, no doubt sucking up some melted Spongebob popcicle from Sunday, and wandered through our inner sanctum of style. 

We've let you live, we gave you your fifteen minutes, now please. See yourself out. 

Oh whoops. JK, it got stepped on.