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James Harden Is A Bad, Bad Man. Spanks The Balls Off Of Boston In Game 1

Brian Babineau. Getty Images.

Yikes. What a downright horrific 48 hours to be a fan of a Boston sports team. First up you had the Boston Bruins completing one of the biggest choke jobs in NHL history. Up 3-1 in the series. Up by a goal with a minute left in regulation of game 7. And those idiots lose game 7 in overtime to the Florida Panthers. Just a hilarious meltdown. 

Next up you had game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals tonight. Joel Embiid was ruled out of the game with a knee injury. The Celtics were shooting like 98% during the first half. The game was always close, but the Sixers rarely had a chance to step up and really take the lead. They'd have it for a second here and there, but Boston was still just 10 seconds away from locking this bitch up and taking a 1-0 lead in the series. And then what happened?

James. Fucking. Harden. 

45 points on the night. 17-30. And he delivered his final dagger right in Al Horford's eye. 


Holy shit did James Harden pick the perfect time to play his best game as a Sixer. This is a guy who has a reputation of disappearing in the playoffs. You want to know what all the haters and doubters can do right now? Suck his big ol' dick, baby. Because 45 points on the road, including the game winning 3, on a night where Joel Embiid was on the sideline all night is enough to make James Harden a certified playoff legend. 

And let's not forget about our sweet prince Tyrese Maxey either. 

A big 18 points out of Maxey, who really got himself going there in the 2nd half. When the Sixers needed Harden and Maxey to step up the most, the gentlemen delivered. They went out and stole you a game on the road, and now the series is officially off. 


What a win. What a team. And to think they still get to add Joel Embiid back at some point. But honestly…I'd let him rest a little longer at this point. As long as PJ Tucker keeps smacking Jayson Tatum in the dick a few more times, it'll all even out. 

Technically I'd say Tatum ran his dick into Tucker's fist, if anything. 

Good fight. Good night. Play the song.