Brian Daboll Was Trading, Vaping, Straight West Coasting During The Giants Draft

Okay, I realize that throwing around a lyric from a song that came out 20 years ago in the headline isn't exactly the most timeliest reference. But the last time I felt as good about the Giants front office was when Dr. Dre was still unleashing fresh bangers like this on the radio.

Sidenote: I forgot how wild this video was even though it was pretty much par for the time. The 90s and early 00s RULED

Anyway, talk about having a coach that can do it all. Not only can Brian Daboll take a team that went 4-13 the year before to the playoffs despite having less talented due to the salary cap hell the previous GM left the team but he is closing deals like Jimmy Johnson with the Cowboys while blowing fat clouds like the Vape God Tommy Smokes.

Blogger's Note: There's a chance Dabes was sucking on an unlit cigar, but Portnoy sold too many newspapers for me to be editing blogs after they're published.

I don't know what exactly Daboll said to Sean McVay to get that deal across the finish line. But I guarantee he led with a Deez Nuts joke to clear the tension that comes with draft night, followed it up byt busting McVay's chops for being such a pretty boy, then wrapped things up with a crass joke that I can't even publish here on Barstool Sports because Dabes doesn't give a fuck about common decorum.

I'm honestly not sure what the point of this blog was other than letting everyone know how much I love having a head coach that is as good at his job as he is cool and the amount of A's the Giants have been getting in draft grades have left me with a raging boner that is approaching the amount of time I have to call my physician. God bless Brian Daboll and the handsome motherfucker that hired him as our head coach.

As for actual hard hitting draft #analysis, I obviously love the Giants drafting a human monster to play center for the next decade and love giving my little lamb Daniel a speed demon in Jalin Hyatt, who will be even faster when he trades in 84 for something between 0-19.