Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW


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Well here we go again. More than 25 years after Pat "The Rat" faxed in his resignation ditching the aging Knicks to take his talents to South Beach to build a copycat team that took years off of the lives of the fans and players in absolute rock fights that made Barstool blogger basketball games look like poetry in motion, the Knicks are facing the Heat in the postseason. I can't believe the Knicks are in the 2nd round of the playoffs for the first time in 10 years let alone that they are facing the team that still employs this treasonous asshole.

But here we are. So say it with me everyone….

Fuck the Heat. Fuck Pat Riley. Fuck PJ Brown. Fuck Tim Hardaway. Fuck Alonzo Mourning. Fuck Voshon Lenard. Fuck Majerle/Mashburn/Weatherspoon. Fuck Anthony Carter's agent that forgot to exercise his player option that allowed the Heat to renounce his rights and sign Lamar Odom who was later traded to the Lakers for Shaq. Fuck Shaq (at least Heat Shaq). Fuck Dwyane Wade. Fuck the refs of the 2006 NBA Finals. Fuck The Decision. Fuck LeBron. Fuck Jim Gray. Fuck that stupid picnic blanket shirt LeBron wore while ripping out Cleveland's soul that turned him from the NBA's Golden Child to the most hated player in the league, thanks partially to this tomfoolery.

Fuck the Heat culture that always somehow has them in the mix. Fuck actual heat for making summer unbearable. And fuck Erik Spoelstra for being way too good looking and good at his job since you should only be allowed to have one of those things in life.

Thanks for eliminating Giannis from the postseason though, even if Playoff Jimmy scares the shit out of me just about the same as a 7 foot former NBA MVP freak that led his team to a ring. But still, fuck the Heat now and forever (and fuck Charlie Ward for that shitty box out move that caused the entire fight, the suspensions, and all the fall out that ended with the Knicks not getting one last shot at Jordan's Bulls but that's another story for another time). 

Let's go Knicks. Beat the Heat. Again.

Giphy Images.

Sidenote: Bring back those jerseys with the black in them as an alternate. Go New York Go New York Go!!!