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This TikTok Meat Rubber Has The Entire Internet In A Pretzel Trying To Figure Out How Old He Is

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I have watched this TikTok approximately 3,922 times and I'm in shambles. I feel like this dude is the next great optical illusion. Cut from the same cloth and the blue/gold dress and Kendall Jenner's missing leg. HOW FUCKING OLD IS THIS DUDE?!

Before I went and did some digging through his account I thoroughly combed through this video by itself. There has to be some context clues embedded in there.

The first place we need to start is his face. One moment he looks like he plays first base for my sons travel baseball team. The next minute he looks like the guy who owns the gas station down the street that sells cases of Natty Light to high school kids. And before they leave he says, "make sure yall don't do nothin' I wouldn't do..."

The moment I thought I had this mystery solved, however, was when he added the BBQ sauce and said, "my good friend Heath Riles." There is no way a child's friend owns a BBQ sauce company. I've seen enough movies to know kids start working younger in the south. They usually have to do that so they don't lose the farm to the bank or some country shit like that. But I'd guess the average age of a BBQ sauce company owner is 50+ easy.

So I went to Heath Riles Twitter account...

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I mean this guy isn't much better. I'm leaning way more towards 45 on this guy but if you told me that's a 19 year old that eats a half a pan of BBQ Cinnamon Rolls before he starts his video I would believe you. That's some hard livin' that would take a toll on anyone's body. Even a kid who took home ec class way too seriously in high school.  

So the next step was to move backwards in his account and see what I could find. Apparently this fella lost a shit ton of weight at one point. Good for him. So obviously the pre-weight loss version should give us a better idea...

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! He somehow looks even older and even younger at once. What the hell is going on? Is this some AI generated cooking show that is planning on taking out Michael Symon?

Now I'm way too invested in this. I need to know the answer. But googling "how old is BBQwithBigJake" only revealed this man is reveling in the chaos and confusion. He's loving every second of it. Just look at the caption to this video.

I'm starting to love Big Jake. I just need to know if my love is legal or could be considered some kind of statutory violation of a minor. There is one more video that COULD show us exactly how old this wizard of the smoker actually is…

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I saw the word "VEGAS" big as hell on the preview and thought this is it! We'll finally get our answer. But he says nothing about hitting a bar or a strip club or gambling…just where to go and eat. Which people of any age can do in Vegas. I'm truly flabberghasted and apparently so is the rest of the internet. 

Either way I want to hang out with Jake and have him cook for me and tell me stories. I just don't know if they will be about last week's pep rally for his school's rivalry game or the time he came back from the Iraq War.