"Good Clean Hit, Ya Fuckin' Loser": The Bruins Not Only Got Worked On The Scoreboard, But In The Chirp Department As Well
Like every other sport, hockey has quickly become the victim of nerds overanalyzing every little excruciating detail about the game. The analytics movement in sports has allowed dorks all across the world to think they actually know anything about sports because their calculators tell them so. And with the influx of analytics within the game, more and more stats have been kept track of throughout the years. Corsi, Fenwick, high-danger passes, etc. etc.
Now I'm not a complete meat head here. I understand that stats certainly have the ability to tell a portion of the story. But if there's one advanced "microstat" that I think truly has an impact on the game and needs to be kept track of, it would be High-Caliber Chirps Per 60. If an individual player or team is able to land a few dagger chirps that really cut to the core of their opponent, chances are that team is going to be successful. And while it may not be the most creative or original chirp in the world, calling someone a "fuckin' loser" straight to their face is always going to cut deep.
It's almost like the slap shot of chirps. You may not see it quite as often in today's game, but it's always an absolute bullet when properly used. Tomas Nosek may have caught Eric Staal in the face with this elbow during last night's game.
But Eric Staal caught him right in the heart with that "good clean hit, ya fuckin' loser". Sarcasm packs a heavy punch on this one. And then not only do you get the dagger from Staal, but then you also have to deal with Matthew Tkachuk posted up at the corner of the bench for the rest of the night whenever he's not on the ice. Gotta respect a guy who turns that spot on the bench into his throne. No need to keep moving down the bench as your line is getting ready for another shift. Just post up in the corner and keep adding a little fuel to the fire to watch the world burn. God this series has such great potential to go completely off the rails.