The 40-year-old Russian man, known only as Arthur, fell from the 19th floor of a building. He was standing on the balcony when he lost his balance, as reported by local media. The balcony on which he stood apparently wasn’t even his own.
Arthur wandered into the property after a night of trying to drown his sorrow because of a breakup, according to the Mirror. He sat on the random balcony for a while before falling down to the street below and crushing a car on impact.
The video shows Arthur as a blurred object falling rapidly from a building. Debris flies into the air on impact. When emergency personnel arrives he appears unfazed and is standing on the remains of a completely crushed car.
An eyewitness said, “It was incredible, he seemed to be really happy and was walking around as if not much had happened. He was even singing.”
He continued singing all the way to the hospital.
What an aboslute legend unless he did it on purpose. If that was the case, I hope he gets help but if not... our guy has a story to tell for the rest of his life, no matter how short that might be. I mean, imagine sitting at the bar and shooting the shit with some other bellied-up random folks and then boom. The local news appears on the TV and the lead story is some dude falling 12 stories and walking away. People at the bar would be going nuts.
"How'd this happen? How on earth is that person ok? I would have thought someone would surely be deadso if they fell that far."
Arthur, while taking a long pull of miller lite because he's still participating in the Bud Light boycott, "12 stories huh... I remember my first beer."
People's heads snap over in Arthur's direction while he's still placing his beer back on the coaster and cleaning the foam from his mouth.
"Yeah," he says while the other patrons hang on his every word. "Yeah, one time I was hanging out on this roof because my bitch of an ex-girlfriend broke up with me on Valentine's Day. I had just bought this new cock ring because I'd been cumming too fast."
"Been there," says Rick from the back. "We all have," commiserates Joe.
"Yeah. I had been cumming too fast and she was sick of it. I asked her to stop saying 'I'm almost there' because it makes me too horny and then I blow," Arthur mutters. "It's too late, she tells me. She says I have ruined too many orgasms for her and she's right. I have been a selfish lover."
The people at the bar begin to fucking weep. Loud. Hard. Wet. Tears were flowing like the river Jordan and there was no end in sight. Brutal.
"Anyway, I fell 19 stories and landed on a car like the movies."
That particular gif didn't match the story but that's ok. Not everything has to be exact.
"I got up and was shockingly fine. I got up, whistled dixie, and was about to start my morning Mental Health Walk but then a copper tells me I gotta go to the hospital for observation because 'I should be dead as shit' and because 'I might be some kind of freak." So I headed to the ER."
"I figured I didn't die because you can't stop a heart that is already broken which I realize didnt seem like was the case. Typically, one doesn't whistle when they are heartbroken but I was masking my pain through the majesty of mouth music." Heartbroken as well, the entire bar was crushed. One other patron, who really commiserated with the story, asked Arthur if she could talk to him alone for a second. They stepped into the side room that's usually reserved for larger parties and she told Arthur that she recently had a tough breakup too. The next thing you know, she is sucking the life outta Arthur's dick. All the pain from the roof-top fall and the breakup end up in her mouth. Dont, worry. It didn't take long. Arthur still has that one problem smh.
"Get back out there, slugger," she says while wiping the foam from her mouth this time (cum).
Anyway, Arthur's name from the bar is actually Derek. He knew the story, stole it, and got his dicked sucked too. What a legend