The Thing About Matt Strahm Is That He's The Greatest And Most Handsome Pitcher In Baseball History
Sarah Stier. Getty Images.Listen. I'm not going to pretend like I know everything there is to know about the history of baseball. I'm not like guys like Frank or Klemmer or Castellani who can rattle off every single stat for every single player on every single team for the past century. But you don't need stats and numbers when your eyes can do all the analysis for you. And the eyes are telling me right now that there's never been a pitcher like Matt Strahm before. He's the man who has the ball. The man who can throw it faster than fuck. He's better than everyone in the world. So you can kiss his ass and suck his dick.
"You're fuckin' out!"
You want the stats, you nerds? Well here you go--so far this season Matt Strahm has pitched 10 innings, struck out 10 sorry ass victims, and has given up a grand total of ZERO runs. 0.00 ERA. Is that good enough for you?
The guy just has it. He's got the dawg.
Who was the other guy on the bump tonight? Oh I don't know, just some dude who won the Cy Young Award last year. Pretty big award they give out every year to the best pitcher in each league. Sandy Alcántara is supposedly the reigning best pitcher in the NL. What happened to him?
Advertisement
Guy got shelled all night long. Probably because he realized there's a new top dog in the NL is he's the PaStrahmi Man. I'd be pissing down my leg, too, if I found myself in a pitcher's duel with Matt Strahm. The luscious locks, the blue glove, the absolute hose on this man. I don't know how you expect anybody to compete with him. And so far this season, nobody has been up to the task. That's my ace.