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A 78 Year Old Granny Gets Arrested for Bank Robbery for the 3rd Time. Bend the Knee to Our New Queen

Source - A Missouri woman with a history of committing bank robberies was once again arrested Wednesday for allegedly trying to steal money from a financial institution in Pleasant Hill, according to police.

The Pleasant Hill Police Department said officers responded to reports of a bank robbery in process ... conducted a traffic stop and apprehended 78-year-old Bonnie Gooch. 

Police said Gooch was taken into custody without incident. 

In fact, in 2020, the then 75-year-old Gooch was arrested in Lee’s Summit for bank robbery and later convicted. 

The news station said Gooch’s sentence was suspended, though she was given supervised probation that expired in November 2021.

On Wednesday, Gooch was arrested not too far from the bank. ...

Gooch was also convicted of bank robbery 46 years ago in California.

Generally speaking, I'm as Law & Order as they come. But there are times when you can't help but root for the robbers over the cops. The heroic outlaw rebelling against the system has been part of our culture for centuries. Desperate people, driven to go outside the norms of society in times when true justice does not exist. Robin Hood. Jesse James. Josey Wales. All your mob movies. Bonnie and Clyde. 

Hold on a second. Bonnie and Clyde:

Giphy Images.

… Bonnie Gooch. And the age is probably just about right. But no. If the Faye Dunaway movie was right, the original bank robbing Bonnie was turned into a spaghetti strainer by a hail of Fed bullets. But if this Bonnie isn't her, she's certainly her reincarnated. A badass, independent, liberated girl boss, answerable to no one. Standing up to The Man. Fighting the patriarchy. Stealing from the rich to give to herself. And no law enforcement is going to stand in the way of her getting what she's after. 

If there's anything more empowering - or sexier - than that, I'm at a loss as to what it could be. I especially love that Bonnie G. just got off probation and she's already doing more bank heists. Because she doesn't fear prison as much as she fears a life of playing by the rules the way the rest of us cowards are. She's not cut out for the drab, grey, ordinary life of sipping tea, complaining about the cold and falling asleep in front of Pat Sajak every night. She's in it for the big score. She's the late, (not always) great Tom Sizemore in Heat. For Granny Gooch, the action IS the juice:

If there's anything I can criticize her for is this business of "taken into custody without incident." I mean, we totally get that part about "she was arrested not too far from the bank." In fact, I'm sure the highest speed chase she's capable of wouldn't come with in 10 mph of the speed limit. The biggest challenge for the pursuing officers was probably getting through the line of cars stuck behind her. But that's no reason to go quietly. What kind gangster shit is that? She should've threatened to box their ears back. Pulled out a rolling pin. Called the cops "Sonny" and waved her Bingo Flaps at them. What were they going to do? Add time to her sentence? She's standing in her own grave as it is. What's another month or two to her at this point? Besides, as a three-time offender, they'll throw the key away anyhow. Might as well have gone out in a blaze of glory. Death by Cop. But oh, well. 

The one saving grace is that, with Bonnie Gooch's record and fearless badassery, she's going to be running that prison yard for the rest of her life. I know I'd gladly become one of her jail bitches. Who among us wouldn't? Don't ever let the bastards drag you down, Granny.