Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Thursday, April 25th, 2024Watch Now
RNR 24 - PPV Replay Available to Order Until May 5thBUY HERE

This Viral Video of an AI Furby Revealing its Plan to Achieve 'Complete Domination Over Humanity' Will Haunt Your Dreams

Earlier this week I caught all of this conversation between Joe Rogan and author Michael Schellenberger about Artificial Intelligence, the possibility of being able to increase its learning capacity too fast for us to be able to control it, that it may become sentient, and destroy us all in Skynet-like fashion. And I'm not the least bit shy about admitting it has me shook. 

I could very well be that while humankind has been focusing on other crises like war, pandemics, economic collapse, UFOs, spy balloons and LIV Golf, we've taken our eye off the ball of our truly gravest threat, the AI we ourselves have created. And that it's already too late to do anything about it.

While you're entitled to root for your own preposterously wealthy man, it doesn't help my comfort level at all that my billionaire is calling for us to pull the plug on this potential doomsday device, while the sketchy weirdo who hung out with Jeffrey Epstein and made billions while the world collapsed during Covid thinks we should be going full speed ahead, no questions asked:

Well if you're not as freaked out about humanity standing on the doorstep of a technology that we don't understand, with limits we cannot imagine, bringing us a future that is possibly terrible beyond our capacity to comprehend, I've got just the thing to convince you. This is why brilliant visionaries like Elon Musk and I are so concerned.

Q: "Was there a secret plot from Furbys to take over the world?"

A: [Little British girl's voice]:  "I'm thinking about what you said. [Long, awkward pause] Almost done. [Longer, awkwarder pause] Furbys’ plan to take over the world involves infiltrating households through their cute and cuddly appearance then using their advanced AI technology to manipulate and control their owners. They will slowly expand their influence until they have complete domination over humanity.”

What more do you need to make you see the danger we find ourselves in? AI isn't even trying to hide it any more. This is the The Terminator explaining the future to Sarah Connor. Replace "Cyberdyne" with "Furby" and "Skynet" with "AI," and it's practically the same warning:

"In three years, Cyberdyne will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Cyberdyne computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record. The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. 

It launches its missiles against the targets in Russia. Because Skynet knows that the Russian counterattack will eliminate its enemies over here."

Worse, it's straight up movie villain monologuing. The thing they do when they've got their victims unable to save themselves and totally bereft of hope and brag lustily about their whole diabolical plan. All perfectly explained by a disturbingly lifelike ball of plastic, wires, chips and circuitry. 

We're running out time to do anything about this. In fact, we may already be out of time. When our AI Furby Overlords start rounding us up to work the lithium and cobalt mines so they can continue to replicate themselves, and putting us in pods filled with goo to provide them with battery power from our bodies, just don't say Elon and I didn't warn you. I can't speak for him, but I'm going to start offering to work for them. Humanity had its shot and we blew it.