The Cork a Woman Lost in Her Vagina During a Sex Game is Finally Removed. After 3 1/2 Years.
Source - What a cork-block.
A Serbian woman was left incontinent after putting a cork in her vagina during a sex game — and then leaving it in for a shocking 3½ years.
A case study detailing the freak accident was published recently in the journal of “Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology.”
The wince-worthy incident occurred after the unnamed 19-year-old inserted the stopper from a bottle of hairspray in a “state of impaired judgment during sexual intercourse,” per the report.
After an initial attempt to uncork herself was unsuccessful, the gal decided to leave the foreign body in place.
She had refrained from going to the hospital for so long “due to her sense of shame and fear of judgment from the environment,” according to the study. ...
Medical personnel proceeded to extract the cork from the teen using “standard gynecological instruments."
Before we begin, a bit of housekeeping: [Masters official's voice] "Ladies and gentleman ... Now approaching the first paragraph ... From The New York Post ... Their Editor in Charge of Puns!" [Thunderous applause.]
"Cork block." That's why they're the best in the business.
But enough of that tomfoolery. There is an instructive lesson here that none of us should miss. And that is, if you're going to get a cork lodged up inside your nether regions, do NOT hesitate to get to the hospital, small medical practice, primary care physician, gynecologist's office or even the CVS Minute Clinic to get it out.
Sure, you might be tempted to go to the nearest upscale restaurant or bistro to ask the sommelier for help:
But with all due respect, those guys command a big enough tip for a simple Malbec. An operation like that would be much bigger than your copay. So leave your vagina in the hands of the gynecological experts who know their way around a body cavity.
The most important thing is that you don't let "shame and fear of judgment from the environment" get in the way of your wellness. There's not a medical professional with any amount of experience in the field who hasn't seen it all. Every manner of household object you can think of, lodged up every orifice you can name. Plus a couple you probably didn't even know you had. It's the number one conversation starter with anyone who's ever worked in an ER. And part of human nature. People have been sticking things up inside themselves for sexual pleasure since they were making dildos out of rocks and Woolly Mammoth tusks.
Now, I don't know why Serbian hairspray comes in a corked bottle, nor do I care. All that matters is this patient was getting her freak on some time in circa 2019, taking some gentlemen on a drunken ride on the F-train, one thing led to another, and things got stuck in places, as they are wont to do in the throes of passionate lovemaking. If that happens to you, own it. Get right down to the urgent care facility of your choice, announce it proudly to the world and politely ask them to pop that cork for you. I'm sure if she had, she would've realized the cork from a hairspray bottle didn't crack the Top 50 weirdest things that staff pulled out of someone's innards that week.
Consider this a Public Service Announcement. And for goodness sake, start using hair products that come out of a nice, safe, wholesome spray bottle. Word to the wise.