Nefarious Ne'er-do-wells Threaten To Shoot Up Chipotle For Lacking Enough Of Their Favorite Toppings

The incident happened March 28 in a Chipotle restaurant on South High Street in Columbus’ Brewery District. After the customers received their order, they became upset because they wanted more cheese on their food, according to Crimestoppers.

First, they cornered a restaurant worker and knocked her hat off. When other employees came to her aid, a fight broke out.

Witnesses told Columbus police that is when one suspect pulled out a gun while the other said “shoot them,” according to Crimestoppers. Witnesses told police the gun misfired.

Well goodness, gracious. Look, I love cheese as much as the next fella but I aint storming a chipotle like it's the capitol building a few Januaries ago, but I will be keeping my head on a swivel the next time I'm in one of those delightful eateries. I can't even imagine the anger that stirred inside the other patrons.

 I can't stand when someone even has their phone notifications on. We are a fucking society, people. If we can't handle phone notification issues, we certainly would be PISSED staring down the barrel of a weapon that the assailants clearly had no idea how to handle. Tap. Rack. Bang. It's a simple ditty. Learn it. Anyway, I can't imagine what the workers thought. I can imagine being pissed that you don't get enough cheese. That's frustrating but just ask for a small salsa verde. It's not cheese but it imparts delicious flavor.

Tonight, my uber eats order came all jacked up. It wasn't the Uber Driver's fault. He's just picking up the bag of food and bringing it to my 195lb slender body for the nourishment that I need. I was famished because I've been trying to eat more healthily lately. I've come to realize it's important the older I get that I really take my health more seriously. So, when the Taco Bell bag was getting ripped open in a manner that's never been seen, I started devouring it. Enhaling it. Woofing it down. I honestly felt bad for the Cheesy Gordita crunch because I ate that bitch so fast you would have thought I was a Marine after a deployment who finds her lady in the crowd. They get back to the ole room and really start to go after it. It's romantic though. She hadn't seen her girlfriend in months so what else was gonna happen? Sadly, they broke up a few short weeks later. Call that a lickety-split.

But back to this Chipotle situation. 

You don't have a right to cheese that shall not be infringed. You have the right to the proper amount of cheese and that's it. When the people behind the counter say, "gentlemen, that's all the cheese you get" you gotta take that and come back tomorrow for another bowl… this time, though, you'll know you need to ask for double cheese. If you weren't being cheap, none of this would happen. You'd be having a delicious meal. Instead, you have to wait 8-12 years for your next burrito bowl. 

Cheese is good but is it 8-12 good? Hard to say but Im leaning SLIGHTLY toward no. 

Anyway, the game is about to start. Yall have a good one. Im taking the over. 

PS: dont know and dont care if someone else blogged this. I'll start double blogging so fast itll make your head spin.