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Airtag Leads Man To The Location of His Stolen Truck And Then Kills The Thief

shotbydave. Getty Images.

Disclaimer: The picture above is not the actual shooter. It's a stock photo so do not contact the police if you recognize the hand. Again… NOT THE REAL HAND. Just an image. I doubt that gun even works. It could though and if it does, he needs to keep his finger off straight and off the trigger until he is ready to fire. Basic weapon safety. 

Via MySa.com A San Antonio man is not expected to face charges after his car was stolen and a confrontation with the suspected thief ended in fatal gunfire on Wednesday, March 29, police said. 

The man's vehicle was stolen from his Northside home on Wednesday afternoon, police said. But by using an Apple AirTag, he was able to track his truck down to a shopping center.

Police said the man saw his truck in the parking lot, walked up to the stolen vehicle in an attempt to confront the person inside, and some sort of disagreement ensued.

In the words of longtime stoolie Borat Margaret Sagdiyev, wow wow wewa. As someone who has had their truck stolen, I feel this victim. I do. There are a couple of hard and fast rules that you should abide by when you come or live in Texas. 

1. Stop at Buccee's the first chance you get. I recommended either the beaver nuggets, jerky, or turkey melt. The turkey melt is absolutely delicious. It's made on the same type of rolls you would get at like Texas Roadhouse but bigger and for a variety of sandwiches, not just the Turkey Melt. I'm not sure if yall are candy people but the candy aisle would make you nut your jeans so much that you would have sworn you were standing by the counter where delicious almonds are freshly roasted in brilliant fashion. Can't get enough of Buccees. Oh. The bathrooms. Don't forget the bathrooms. They are big enough to fit a stolen truck inside. 

2. If you steal someone's truck, especially their work truck, you will likely end up dead. 

Soliz said he could not confirm if the man and the suspected thief argued, but said the car theft victim told police he believed the suspected thief pulled out a gun which prompted "a firefight." 

Uhhh ya think they argued? DUH. Now, I understand the victim's truck was there but you don't go in guns a blazin. You aint Butch Cassidy, nor are you the Sundance Kid. I'd love to be them though. Those mother fuckers just doing all kinds of shenanigans. I could get down with that. Butch Cassidy gets all the shine but SK deserves some credit too. After all, the Sundance Kid's real name was Harry Longabaugh, and he was born in 1867 in Mont Clare, Pennsylvania. Ole Sundance, as his friends called him, became notorious for robbing banks, trains, and other businesses. It was wild as hell and he had no fucks to give. Incredible. 

Much like our victim - the victim not the thief- Sundance Kid was known for his sharpshooting skills and his cool demeanor during holdups. This wasn't a holdup situation but it ended up the same: someone is dead. What a fuckin tie-in by me. My goodness. 

Anyway, the suspected thief was shot and pronounced dead at the scene. His identity has not been released.

Another reminder if you waltz into Texas and try to steal someone's truck, they will and can shoot you. The proof is in the pudding and your brain could end up looking like tapioca. I'm not saying that happened to the thief's brain but I'm also not saying it didn't while saying I don't know if it did. Probably though. Nevertheless, RIP. 

As the saying goes, "fuck around and find out." 

Lastly, I wonder what kinda truck it is. Probably something fuckin sick like a raptor or an F-250 King Rance with all the bells and whistles. I love those things but I can't justify over 100 grand on a truck. Call me poor but I won't spend a nickel over 50k ever on a truck (well, unless I get a big raise or something or if I won the lottery id do it then but not on my current salary which is good but not 120k for a truck good) no matter how much money I make or even if I won the lottery. 

Anyway, I'll see ya out there. 

Giphy Images.