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Here's What A Road Trip With Frank The Tank Is Like

I just got back from driving to and from Miami with Frank The Tank to go see the Mets play the Marlins for Opening Day. That's four total days of driving. Here's what the experience was like:

-Frank won't drive over 35 MPH. So, that rules all highways out if he was going to behind the wheel. So all of the driving fell on me. That's never ideal for any road trip but in fairness, Frank did offer up his car for the trip.

-Frank's car is very clean. When I say very clean, I mean it looks like it just got detailed. Frank's desk is kind of a cluttered mess so I didn't know what to expect when he said we could take his car but I was very impressed. It's one of the cleanest cars I've ever been in that wasn't new or a rental.

-The music selection was also somewhat surprising. Obviously when there are MLB games on or even the Devils, that takes priority on Frank's car radio. But when there are no games, he has three standby stations on his Sirius/XM. Yacht Rock is usually his first choice but when the songs get repetitive, he'll switch to the all 70's or all 80's stations. I can safely say in the 40 hours we were in the car, no song from 1990 or beyond was played on the entire trip.


-We did stay in the same hotels but in different rooms that were adjourning. One night, I was looking to see if the hotel had the MLB Network (they did not) and I saw that the Devils were playing on ESPN2. I thought it would be nice to send a Frank a text message giving him the heads up:

-Another night, I was ready to go to bed at about 1 AM. I had taken a couple gummies and played a relaxing game on my baseball simulator. I shut off the lights and put my head on the pillow ready to get some sleep. My head just hit the pillow when I heard a man screaming:


It was Frank in the next room taping his Cameos. 

-Hot dogs become of extreme importance the second we are on the road. We typically hit the road around 9:15 each morning and he would spend the next three or so hours furiously looking at his phone for the best possible hot dog spots for his Raw Dogging videos. I told him we could stop anywhere he wanted but the places had to be close to I-95 so we wouldn't lose too much time. He was very respectful of that request and always found unique places that were pretty close to the highway.


-Frank may question every move the Mets make but is not a backseat driver at all. He never questioned my driving abilities. He would grab the garment hanger handle thing when a turn got too tight or I had to change lanes. But he never had any negative remarks which is all you can really ask for from a passenger.

-It's wild how Frank is noticed everywhere he goes. You expect that at Mets games but we were at some real hole in the wall hot dog places. I'm talking about places so small they didn't have a bathroom in tiny towns and he still got recognized at every hot dog place. He's great about taking pictures with everyone who asks for one.  That sounds pretty easy to do but he got hundreds (no exaggeration) of requests at the Mets/Marlins game and anytime he was asked he said "Yup." and posed for the picture. Every single time.

All in all, Frank was a very good passenger. That's a long time to spend with a co-worker but I thought we had a fun time. He got too mad at Mark Canha and Tommy Pham but also admitted he was wrong when they had great games. We even said that no matter where the Mets start the season next year, we'd do this again. The trip might have been very different if the Mets had gotten swept but they took 3 out of 4 from the Marlins and Kodai Senga's Ghost Fork is unhittable.