Starbucks Automatically Adding 20g of Sugar To Their Iced Coffee Should Be 100% Illegal

In January I did a little thing called "eating healthy and working out" and let me tell you, valued reader, it sucked at first and then it felt great. I did low carb, high protein, no alcohol, no sugar, no dairy, no fried foods, no basically anything you enjoy, and rode my stationary bike (knock-off Peloton) a minimum of 5x a week. As a result I lost about 8% of my body weight, 2 belt loops, sent zero embarrassing texts, and overall felt like a normal human being. Was pretty crazy to wake up on a Saturday morning without a stomach ache, without brain fog, without immense regret of sending 1:30am text messages to lord knows who. 

Side note- a lot of people asked what I ate. My diet was basically coffee, water, eggs, tuna, and baked chicken. Would make omelettes and salads so I always had veggies and avocado and stuff like that. Almond milk protein shakes, Quest Bars, and things like that in-between meals. Very basic, very boring, but it works.

So anyway, I fell off the wagon and decided to start being healthy again until the WSOP starts on June 1st. And just like every other time I've started a diet, which in my opinion means you have to do your best to cut out added sugars, yesterday I felt like absolute ass. I felt like death. And it's obviously because sugar is in EVERYTHING. We add sugar to god damn EVERYTHING. It's nearly unavoidable, and obviously it's because it's delicious and makes eating food addicting and your body craves it. Your body cannot get enough of it. So cutting it out feels like you belong in a rehab facility. 

Young Trent replied:

He's not wrong. It's like the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carrell's character can't avoid sex. On the busses, in the park, in the clouds, he sees sex everywhere. That's how life is with sugar. Which brings me to the point of this blog- fucking Starbucks, man. Don't get me started on Starbucks. It's like $5 for a normal hot coffee these days. It's insane. I'm so out on Bux it hurts. But the thing they do where their default, standard iced coffee comes with 20 GRAMS OF SUGAR- that my friends should be illegal.

It's, as a failed watch salesman once said, BUH-NAN-AS. The fact that the normal iced coffee comes sweetened with 20g of sugar should be illegal. The fact that you have to specify for it not to have dump trucks of poison in it is legitimately insane. It'd be like if companies were going around adding nicotine to everything all willy nilly. 

Now, I think baristas have gotten to the point where they know how ridiculous this is so most of the time they will ask if you want "classic or not classic" which is a ridiculous question in itself- "classic" means "sweetened". 

I'm not kidding or being a lib when I say this practice should be illegal. Dumping sugar in coffee to keep people addicted to your coffee is insane to me. It'd be one thing if it was like a can of Coke on a shelf where you can read the nutritional facts before buying it, because in that case it's right in front of your eyes. But something like coffee? That's just insane to me.

If you are a regular Bux customer you probably already knew this. But there are plenty people who don't. It happens in the Barstool office from time to time too- someone walks in with a Venti iced coffee and starts offering it around because the baristas shoveled a Mt. Everest sized piled of sugar into their drink without asking. 

So if you didn't know this, let this be a PSA. It would not shock me if this practice one day becomes illegal. The more I read about sugar and watch documentaries about sugar the more I'm shocked it isn't treated more like how we now treat cigarettes. 

At the end of the day, this is why I only drink Stella Blue Coffee. 

PS: Poor Chuck. Was doubling up on it for a year. Don't be Chuck.