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Lighten the Fuck Up! Marty Was a Rabid Blue Devils Fan Who Died Just Minutes After Tennessee Eliminated Duke in the Second Round...

Lance King. Getty Images.

Marty was a rabid Blue Devils fan who died during March Madness just minutes after Tennessee eliminated Duke in the second round, 65-52. In fact, Marty arrived at the gateway to Heaven wearing his blue and white authentic team jersey and still screaming in disbelief… 

Once he calmed, Marty knocked on the pearly gates, and when they opened, Saint Peter greeted him, "Hello, Sir. I'm sorry to have to inform you, but no Blue Devils fans are allowed in Heaven…" 

"What?" Marty asked, shocked. 

"You heard it, no Blue Devils fans allowed in Heaven…" 

Marty argued, "But, I've been a good man. Certainly, I deserve to go to Heaven!" 

"Oh really," St. Peter responded. "So, what have you done lately to deserve it?" 

"Well," Marty explained, "Three weeks before I died, I gave $150 to the World Hunger League…" 

"That's a good thing," Saint Peter replied, and then he asked curiously. "Is there anything else you can add to that?" 

"Two weeks before I died, I gave $150 to Healthcare for the Homeless…"

"Hmmm… Anything else?" 

"Yeah. A week ago, I gave $200 to Teach for America…" 

"Okay, okay," Saint Peter said, acknowledging Marty's generous donations. "Wait here a minute while I have a word with God…" 

Ten minutes later, Saint Peter returned. He glanced at Marty's Blue Devils' jersey in disgust, and then looking directly into his eyes, he announced, "I had a word with God, and he agreed with me… No Blue Devils fans allowed in Heaven, ever! Here's your $500 back, Marty. Now go to Hell to be with the rest of your kind!"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #157!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Spring is here, and you know you'll look great in a new LTFU Tee! Not everyone will know what LTFU means, but everyone will ask!