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No Days Off: Larsa Pippen Claims She Had Sex With Scottie Pippen Four Times EVERY NIGHT During Their 23 Year Marriage

Hand up I have no idea when this video is from, but to my knowledge it hasn't been blogged and it's going viral right now. It's so outrageous it's worth the watch even if you've seen it before. 

First and foremost we need to address the math here. Now I'm not typically one who watches a TV show or movie and questions the validity of what I'm seeing with my own eyes. The traveling by either horseback or foot done in Game of Thrones would take 50x at least from what they're leading us to believe. If you're questioning that while obsessing over a show that prominently features dragons and zombies then I don't know what to tell ya. 

That being said, when Larsa Pippen gets in front of a camera and says she had sex four times a night for 23 years with Scottie I need to stop the conversation and reel it back a little. That would be 1,460 times a year and 33,580 for the whole duration of the marriage. Putting it lightly, Scottie Pippen would no longer be alive if he forced his body to go through such strain. Surely it's possible those 33,580 times did not all happen with Scottie in which case he's probably doing some math himself right now. Wait, why did I just entertain that idea? 33,580 is not a real number in any reality. 

There are three possibilities here, and only three

1) This is HOF LeBron/Wilt Chamberlain levels of lying in broad daylight. Unbelievably unnecessary lying. Just straight up coming up with a number and sticking to it for no reason whatsoever. I mean it's not like she said the lie and then it kinda went unnoticed. Andy Cohen was listening and immediately questioned the math. She not only doubled down, but she tripled down! Adriana Chechik wouldn't believe those numbers. I'm presenting two other options below for the sake of imagination, but this is the correct choice. 

2) Larsa Pippen has no idea what having sex is. I don't mean to be that guy, but it's quite possible our concept of sex and Larsa's are an ocean's length apart. I mean just take the phrase "hooking up" for instance. The area I grew up that just meant making out. You meet some people from a different area of the country and that means fucking. It would seem odd, but maybe Larsa Pippen believes sex is something different than our common definition. 

3) Larsa and Scottie Pippen are genetically engineered super soldiers, who are ready to be activated the moment our government believes they are needed for the next great war. 

Lying or not I typically come back to the same conclusion when it comes to Larsa Pippen. Scottie Pippen Jr. needs all of the therapy. Every time I see a headline involving Larsa I think about his well being. There's only so much a man can take. Having to deal with Malik Beasley on his team is one thing, but seeing these kind of sound bites on the regular would break even the strongest minded human alive. 

Thoughts and prayers.