This Realty Ad May Be The Best Thing I Have Ever Seen

Got this sent to me in my group chat , and maybe it's a cultural thing but I couldn't stop laughing. First off , I have bumped into guys like this 1000 times in my life. They are a dime a dozen on the Island. Pizza parlors, deli's, bars, restaurants, you name it. Staten Island has characters like this. Deep voice, one liners, look like you don't want to know what they did at some point in their lives, velour sweatsuits, white shoes, sunglasses year round, it's a starter pack for a wise guy or a guy named Vinny who hasn't had a job on the books for 35 years of his life. Absolute characters. 

There's a ton of things in the video that are underrated comedy. Let's try to unpack them all and rank my favorite moments of hilarity. 

Bronze Medal

- "3 Double garages and 2 garages" 

I'm not a industrial real estate major ,and I'm a sure a space like this has a purpose but needed 5 garages seems a little excessive. Listen parking in NYC and on Staten Island sucks , which means there is a need for spots across all the boroughs, but 5 garages in one spot ? Seems a little excessive. Also, let's not bury the lead, the way the delivers the line is fantastic. Almost like he forgot what he was pitching ... actually I know he forgot what he was pitching. Listen, he's a one take type of guy he's got shit to do he can't be out there all day, he's got collections to make. 

Silver Medal

- "490,000 ... if you're interested call."

This is a business deal folks, no bullshit. You want the lot or not, if not keep fucking moving. 

Gold Medal 

- "You can build a house .... and so on and on"

Basically what he's saying is this. The lots for sale, and you can buy it. If you wanna use the garages, knock yourself out, if you wanna build a house great. He's here to get paid and what you do when you purchase it is your business, he's not gonna ask any fucking questions. Just make sure the check clears. This isn't a guy who asks questions. You don't ask him questions either. How does he drive a Lexus and have 2 houses in the city and one in Florida when he isn't listed on a single payroll .... none of your business. He has his ways... so on and on. 

Need a reality show on this guy .... need it. Love Staten Island so much.