Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. I thought about bailing on this today, because technically I'm on vacation. But if this Sunday smut blog doesn't hit the streets we'd have a riot on our hands. So I'm heroically writing this from the United Club at the Denver Airport (not to brag). I am extremely uncomfortable posting pictures of Boob GIF's surrounded by such a high class group of people. But this is the line of work I'm in. What I'm working on is no less important than the man sitting next to me punching numbers into Excel. Or the woman sitting across from me punching numbers into Excel. Every time I see someone working on a computer at the airport I assume they're doing something very important and spread sheet related.
I've always been a fan of airports. It's one of the few places where drinking at any time of day is socially acceptable (unless you're on a work trip for Barstool Sports, s/o Bailey Carlin). It's also one of the best places for people watching. As people walk by I like to makeup back stories for them. Like this heavy-set man wearing wire rimmed glasses who eating a big slice of chocolate cake and drinking a Coca-Cola. He doesn't appear to be a man of business, so I'm assuming he was visiting his sister in Fort Collins. She always on him about his diet, so whenever he visits he's forced to eat healthy all week long. But now that the trip is over, he's indulging in the largest slice of United Club chocolate cake the world has ever seen. He's had nothing but salad the last 5 days, so he deserves this.
I will say, the people watching isn't quite as good in the United Club as it is out in the terminal with the heathens, but what am I going to do? Not sit in the United Club because it would make for better content? That's insane. But honestly, now that I've been in the United Club for a bit, the quality of people they allow in here is not impressive. I was expecting a room full of well-to-do individuals dressed exclusively in suits or Lululemon leisurewear. Unfortunately, that's not the case. It's a fairly unremarkable group. But I don't know why I would have expected anything different, considering they offered 2 free passes to someone who looks like this.
It's been nearly 2 weeks since that photo dropped. Since then, I've been working hard to change the narrative. Hitting the gym, eating salads, wearing eye makeup, etc. And I've actually been stacking a few W's lately. Somehow I've found myself smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest trades in Dozen history. If you haven't heard, I have traded myself & Rico Bosco to Team Minihane in exchange for Big Ev & Quigs.
I have nothing but love for The Family (i.e. Reags), but how could I pass up an opportunity to play under the bright lights alongside the best trivia player at Barstool Sports? It was no brainer. I've been doing a bit of studying to prepare for our upcoming match against The Experts. I'm never sure how to go about studying for trivia. I mostly just pick a random sports teams and look over historical rosters to jog my memory. If Jeff gives us a question about the 2004 Buffalo Bills, or the Top 10 Quarterbacks in Arizona State Sun Devil's history, we'll be in great shape.
On top of that, my family vacation to Vail, Colorado could not have come at a better time.
"Oh wow! I didn't know John Rich was a skier. Is he cutting a Barstool Sportsbook promo while shredding the Legendary Back Bowls of Vail, Colorado? I thought he would be snorting bath salts in a back alley somewhere. I stand corrected. He must be wealthy and athletic." - Hater #1
"I didn't know John Rich golfed! Wow, look at that swing. Not too shabby! What a talented person. I was so wrong about him. I don't even remember that ghastly photo from a few weeks ago." - Hater #2
If I'm going to be labeled as Barstool Sports resident drug addict, I can at least be a rich, athletic one. The problem is I blew my load all at once. Skiing and golf is about all I got.
I can't stress enough how uncomfortable scrolling through pages of "Hot Girl Boob GIFs" is making me. I apologize if the GIFs were not up to par today, I had to turn the brightness all the way down on my computer.