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Gisele is Climbing Stripper Poles Now in Her Relentless Pursuit of Victory in the Divorce

Kevin Winter. Getty Images.

I believe it was just about three weeks ago that I was suggesting divorce can be a competitive sport. And that no one, but no one, is fighting harder to win theirs than the former Mrs. Tom Brady:

Me - By our nature, humans are competitive creatures. Programmed by evolution to outdo one another when it comes to having the best of everything, from shelter to food to clothing, so that we can attract the best mates and spread our DNA. And I see no way that nature stops just because the person you planned on spreading your DNA with dumped you. Or you dumped them. If anything, that drive to do better just increases post-divorce, to prove you were the more desirable mate all along. 

That's just my theory. Based on decades of observation of human behavior. And there is nothing that's gone on between the two most famous divorcees of the last year that has convinced me otherwise.

That was back in February when Gisele was down in Rio for Carnival, surrounded by women who, despite their own obvious talents, couldn't hope to be anything other than the small planets orbiting her radiant sun.

Silvia Izquierdo. Shutterstock Images.

Since then, we've seen Brady somewhat, here and there. The occasional social media post to plug one of his lifestyle brand products or try to dispel rumors he wants to come back to football:

But Gisele is clearly not interested in keeping this contest close. She is out for blood. I never thought I'd live to see someone more competitive that Brady himself, but he has clearly met his match with this one. Here's her latest endeavor:

People -  Gisele Bündchen is rocking a steamy new look for her latest campaign.

On Thursday, Italian brand Arezzo posted a reveal of the supermodel, 42, surrounded by mirrors in various poses while dancing around a stripper pole in a deep-V plunge black thong bodysuit and black boots.

"She's back and stronger than ever!" the translated caption on the luxury footwear site read. "This is your moment! And you? Which one is yours?"

In another racy look, the fit star shimmied in a silver fringe number with a built-in black bodysuit featuring black spaghetti straps, her long legs accentuated by the brand's strappy chunky-heeled metallic sandals. 

In divorce terms, this is her 2007 season. Specifically, that game where Brady rolled up on a poor, defenseless Washington team. Ironically enough, coached by Joe Gibbs after he unretired. And deep into the 4th quarter of a 38-0, Brady was hitting Wes Welker in the endzone on the way to a 52-7 victory while America looked on in anguish:

Giphy Images.

Only now it's Brady on the pointy end of the pitchfork on this. Gisele reportedly told friends she wanted to get her career back the way he had his. And she's done it. 

Her days of putting kids' school lunches together and supervising their playdates are over. She wanted to get back to her rightful place in the throne at the top of the supermodel pyramid, and clearly she has succeeded already. She's rolling the heads of her competitors down the temple stairs to appease the gods. And unless she lets her foot off the gas, it's going to continue. 

I can't count her ex-husband out. Others have done that before, to their peril. He came back from down 28-3 in a Super Bowl, he can come back from this. But he's got to do so knowing that Gisele isn't the 2016 Falcons. She's not trying to run out the clock; she's running up the score. And if he doesn't start closing the gap soon, he never will.