If You Love Popcorn And Don't Own One Of These Game Changing Devices You're Doing It All Wrong
(Forewarning - 6,000 words on popcorn is absurd. I fully realize. Just a heads up.)
I posted this last week while enjoying popcorn on the couch watching rubbish. And forgot to follow it up with the blog. That ones on me.
I was legitimately surprised how many people were unaware these things existed.
Last year when the Chicago office guys were arguing on redline who was the bigger popcorn fan, I asked them who had one of these marvelous contraptions. They responded at me like I was crazy.
A man with an open mind however, Cons reached out and asked me to show him the light. Which I did, and he converted. Graciously.
I even ordered a box of like 10 of them and brought them into the office for them because I knew if I didn’t they never would. Again I was looked at like a stunad. And I’m 99% sure I saw them still sitting in the same Amazon box in the corner of the kitchen a couple weeks ago.
But I digress as usual…
This thing is a magic popcorn maker.
It goes by many names, with many different brands you can find online, I won’t link to any but you can look up Salbree, Hotpop, Popco, Opopop, and Goodful. They’re all the same thing which means whoever the genius was who invented this thing did the worst job ever patenting it, or whored themselves out and sold the design to everybody and anybody.
Either way, we owe this person a ton of gratitude because they changed the game for popcorn forever.
If you love popcorn like most red blooded Americans do, and you can’t get your hands on the movie theatre stuff, but still need to satiate your desire for the delicacy at home, please I’m begging you stop with the microwave bag stuff.
I’m blogging this on my phone and I’m too lazy to look it up right now but I’m pretty certain those bags contain a ton of carcinogens and crap that’s wicked bad for you. Plus it’s just dog shit quality.
The cook times are never correct because all microwave brands and settings are different.
Which means you’re left with either 3/4 of a cooked bag and a shit ton of uncooked kernels left over, or a fully cooked burnt bag. (Nothings worse than burned popcorn)
I used to be a stove top guy.
I’d buy the good kernels, dab off a little butter in the pot, and cook that baby on low temp.
This is a great method so long as you pay attention the the pot, shake it up every now and then, and don’t let it burn.
The only hang up and annoying part is you can’t use a pot too big or too deep because you’ll inevitably have pieces that stay trapped near the bottom no matter how well you shake it up, and they get burned.
If you mow down popcorn or are making for multiple people, you have to fire this thing up multiple times. Plus burned butter sucks so you gotta wipe the pot out well between cooking’s.
(I’m fully aware I’m a psycho, what can I say I love popcorn)
So enter this magic popcorn maker.
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With this gift from God you literally can’t screw it up.
The most inept housewife or monkey brained child can even do it.
It comes collapsed and folded up on itself. Easy for storage. With a clear plastic lid.
You open it up, and fill the bottom with kernels up to a line.
At this point you have options.
You can either go nude- which gives you perfectly popped, white as the driven snow popped corn pieces.
You can snag some popcorn oil at your local grocery store and throw a little of that in.
Or you can go with my go-to which is about an 1/8th a stick of good Irish butter.
(you can even get crazy and use coconut or avocado oil for a healthy option that jazzes up the taste enough but isn’t too overpowering)
You throw the lid on, hit the popcorn setting on your microwave, or enter 2:30 and let it rip.
Standing in front you’ll notice the kernels start popping very quickly. Rapid fire.
Before you know it the lids being pushed up with the finest home made popcorn you’ve ever seen.
You can pull the magic popcorn maker now, or let it go another 10-15 seconds and roll the dice but for your first few rodeos I suggest pulling it.
Next you take the lid off and either enjoy, or hit it with a little salt.
I know I sound like Billy Mays (rip) here but I guarantee you you will ask yourself “where has this thing been my whole life?”, the first time you try it.
I don’t know the science behind why it works- the ergonomic design? The soft flexible material? The sealed lid which keeps the steam in until it’s lifted up and off at just the right time?- it just does. Perfectly. And that’s all that matters.
You don’t even need to thank me. Just enjoy.
P.s.- for those wondering, if you don’t wanna look on Amazon, you can find popcorn kernels in your grocery store usually right above or below the microwave stuff. Same with the popcorn oil. Orville Redenbocker is a solid brand and there’s a bunch of non-gmo brands out there now that are also great. Whole Foods carries a bunch of crazy all natural versions like red and purple corn which give an entirely different taste and crunch and is good to mix it up every now and then.
P.p.s.- Himalayan pink sea salt will also change your life. Totally different taste and it’s actually healthy for you. (Trace minerals baby.) You’ll never look back.
P.p.p.s.- several other popcorn fanatics have suggested trying Parmesan cheese, garlic salt, Tabasco sauce, Tajin, and a host of other things to jazz up their popcorn. I’ve yet to try any of them so the jury is still out for me. Curious of other people’s thoughts though.