Nick Saban Chose His New Assistant's First Day on the Job to Give Him an 'Ass Chewing' in Front of Everyone

Kevin C. Cox. Getty Images.

There are few college prospects I've ever wanted the Patriots to draft more than I wanted them to grab safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix out of Alabama in 2014. First of all, because he could play and defensive back was an area of need. But who am I kidding? That reason was at best, second of all. Mostly I wanted him because he possesses my all time favorite name. I had visions of old, useless late 90s jokes dancing in my head. And dreams of blogs that would write themselves. But sadly, it wasn't meant to be. Clinton-Dix went to Green Bay with the 21st pick. The Patriots stayed at No. 29 to take Dominique Easley. And I had to settle for that 2014 team winning the Super Bowl and three out of the next five. You take the bad with the good. 

Well after eight season and five teams, Clinton-Dix is back at Alabama, effective this week. And Sith Lord Nick Saban wasted no time tearing him a new asshole:

Source - Former Alabama safety HaHa Clinton-Dix recently began his new job as the Tide’s director of player development and Nick Saban wasted no time welcoming his former player to the support staff. …

His name was added to the school’s staff directory last week. 

“So that’s where my life is headed is into coaching and helping these kids … making the right choices as they get ready for their career heading to the NFL, and other avenues they want to endure after football is over with,” he told Green Bay-based reporters from New Orleans before the Sugar Bowl.

They say "You can't go home again." And here's Saban proving them wrong. With him, ass chewing is a tradition unlike any other. Whether it's his freshmen nose tackles or assistant coaches:

… or his former player-turned-assistant on Day 1 of his post-NFL career in the middle of February, Saban brings one, all-purpose approach to his job. He's got one mood that works for him and he never deviates from it. He's uni-polar. And you can't argue with the results. 

I think my favorite part of this story is HHCD being under no delusion this would be the case. There was no naive, "Welcome to the Majors, Mr. Hobbs" surprise he was going to get a reaming from his former coach/new boss. He rather seems to be enjoying himself. With the understanding that when you sign up for some generals' armies, there are going to be a lot of casualties. And in Saban's case, the field looks like a scene from All Quiet on the Western Front that got cut because it was too grim. And that's the price you pay to be in the playoffs every year and a favorite to win the National Title every September. And it never, ever gets old. 

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Lord help me, it never gets old. Here's looking forward to the next 4,999,999 ass chewings as much as Clinton-Dix is. Hail Saban.