Barstool Sports Readers Are Demanding More Jackson Mahomes Content
When I penned my most recent article on the undeniably sexy 22-year-old influencer phenom that is Jackson Mahomes, I knew it would garner some attention. As everyone knows, if you put Jackson Mahomes in the title of a blog on Barstool Sports, the Stoolies will eat it up. I knew the risk I was taking. That I might receive some negative feedback. And of course, as always, a few readers provided constructive criticism.
I'm an emphatic guy. I completely understand why a sexually frustrated man would take exception to a male Adonis with a great penis who makes a lucrative career off his slick moves and nice body. I would respond the same way if I wasn't consistently getting good pussy from 8's and above. I don't begrudge them for it. I feel for them in the same way I feel for LeBron haters who are unable to allow themselves to appreciate greatness. You can spend your time fighting it, denying the history that's happening right in front of your face. Or you can grab some lube popcorn, pull up a chair and enjoy the show.
And boy has Jackson Mahomes been putting on a hell of a show lately. Super Bowl week was a big week for the young superstar. With his older, less viral brother leading the Kansas City Chiefs into Super Bowl 57, the world turned their attention to his younger brother. The Super Bowl was an even bigger moment for Jackson than it was for the NFL MVP. Teenagers and adults alike were glued to their phones, waiting on pins and needles for the King of TikTok to bless us with 15-30 seconds of thunder. As the greats always do, he delivered in a big way.
I find it funny how we spent a whole week praising Donna Kelce for having 2 sons playing against each other in the Super Bowl, when the Mahomes family had an objectively more impressive. On Sunday, the Mahomes' parents got to watch two winners, as opposed to just 1. Travis & Jason Kelce are on the tail ends of their career. The Mahomes brothers are both in their prime, each performing on the biggest stage in their respective professions. Mr. Mahomes is doing laps around Donna Kelce, and nobody wants to give him credit for it.
Jackson & Patrick have a their differences, but one thing Jackson Mahomes has in common with his older brother is the clutch gene. When the lights shine brightest, you can count on them both to step up to the plate. Don't just take my word for it. There are metrics that Barstool Sports uses to determine what our fans want to read about most. Every Tuesday, we receive the list of top 20 blogs from the week prior. I take the list VERY seriously. I study it for hours on end. Blogging isn't just a job for me. It's my life's purpose. A Barstool blogger has the weight of the world on his shoulders. We are personally responsible for bringing joy & laughter to hundreds of thousands of fans every day as they plug away at their miserable 9-5's. Whether it be with a humorous article, a satirical video, or a blog chopped full of perfectly executed dance moves, the fans are looking for anything to put a smile on their faces, even if just for a second. For a day without laughter is a day wasted. I need to use every tool at my disposal to make sure I know EXACTLY what type of content they're looking for. The list tells all.
The Stoolies are all but holding a gun to my head and saying, "Give us more Jackson Mahomes or we'll blow your fucking brains out then murder your family." I don't know how else I can possibly interpret these statistics. No need to worry guys, you don't have to beg.
The way Jackson Mahomes has parlayed having an athletically gifted brother into becoming the #1 needle mover on the world's premier sports blog is nothing short of inspiring. Jackson has joined the likes of Dave Portnoy, Tom Brady, LeBron James, and Busty Co-Eds, in the top 1% of most sought after blog topics by the Barstool readers.
Although some people responded negatively to my original Jackson Mahomes piece, not everyone was such a low-t pussy. I was actually encouraged by the number of Stoolies who were able to appreciate what he brings to the table, even if they don't personally enjoy his content.
Although not everybody is on-board with Barstool Sports newest cash cow, it's refreshing to see a new non-Tom Brady brand of content take hold of our website. Jackson, if you're reading this, consider this blog your official invite to spend a day at Barstool Sports. Hell, spend a week. A month if you have the time. Honestly, if you wanted to work here, Dave Portnoy would let you name your price. A blank check situation, if you will. There's not a person at Barstool who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to film a provocative video with you. Despite what some might say, it's become abundantly clear that Jackson Mahomes content is what the people are looking for, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. I can't wait to see what you do next, King.