To Help Make The Decision On His Future Aaron Rodgers Is Embarking On An Isolation Retreat Where He'll Be By Himself In a Little House For Four Days And Nights In Complete Darkness

Quinn Harris. Getty Images.

Try to think of the perfect way Aaron Rodgers could come up with to make a clear, concise decision about his future. Alright got something in mind? Well you're wrong because there's no way you thought of a darkness retreat. What's a darkness retreat? Let's find out together.

Incredible. Remember when Rodgers going to Peru and doing some ayahuasca was considered an out of the box move? Yeah that's child's play compared to the darkness retreat. Complete isolation, zero light, all the drugs. You either come out with a clear conscious ready to decide on the future or you lose your mind entirely and spend your remaining days on Shutter Island hallucinating everything. That's what's required when your best options on the table are the Jets and Raiders. I wonder who gave him this idea, Rogan or Shailene? Probably Dr. Joe, but you can't rule out the woman who forages in the woods for her own food and makes her own toothpaste. 

I will say this, do you really want to be the team that gets chosen after a four day darkness retreat? Gotta imagine some crazy shit went on in that man's brain in those 96 hours that somehow led to choosing you. No one is gonna raise a red flag after they get the call from 12 that he's ready to rock after all that shit? Few hours in that house and I'd convince myself the masked people from The Strangers were outside and run out the place screaming bloody murder. 

Advertisement

Personally, I prefer Trent's method of isolation way more. 

I'll tell ya what, guess which NFL team has darkness in their logo? The Autumn Wind. Gotta be why McDaniels is running his mouth around town. 

Whatever he decides I think the move everyone is really looking forward to is what Rodgers does after retiring. I truly feel like anything is on the table whether that'd be a conspiracy podcast, evil sorcerer, Ezra Miller 2.0, Homelander, or the leader of a cult.  

Anywho, if you want an idea of what a darkness retreat is like take a look here. 

P.S. If the Yankees don't win the World Series this year because of guys like Aaron Hicks, Josh Donaldson, and IKF again I might have to force myself to partake in one of these retreats.