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Jason Kelce Wants A Rewrite On The NFL Script That Had Him Tear His ACL In 2012

Seriously though. Can we get some names on the writers for the 2012 NFL season? It's one thing to have an offensive lineman tear an ACL. That happens in pretty much every movie the NFL puts out every year. But to have Ed Reed be the guy who does it to one of the greatest centers the game has ever seen? I mean they could have at least attempted to make that one believable. Hopefully those jabronis aren't in the writing room anymore, or any writing room for that matter. 

I have to admit it's pretty crazy that we're finally living to see our first Super Bowl where it's out in the open that Roger controls everything. Think about how freeing that must be for the guys to finally be able to admit it out in the open like this. Arian Foster deserves some sort of humanitarian award for being the whistleblower on that one. 

And if somehow you still don't believe the man, I mean just take a look at this year's Super Bowl matchup. How could this possibly NOT be scripted? You've got Andy Reid coaching against the Philadelphia Eagles, the organization he coached for 14 seasons. Nick Sirianni's first job in the NFL was with the Kansas City Chiefs. He was fired by Andy Reid when Big Red got into town. You've got the first Super Bowl matchup between two black quarterbacks ever. And on top of it all, you've got the first set of brothers playing against one another in the Super Bowl with Jason and Travis Kelce. This is quite literally the most movie script Super Bowl we've ever seen. Roger went full Marvel on this one. 

And speaking of the Kelce brothers, this had to be the most historic batch of mom's cookies to ever be baked, no?

No other mom in the history of moms has been able to bake their sons a batch of cookies before they head off to play one another in the Super Bowl. Tonight, Donna Kelce made history. 

It's the biggest sporting event of the year. Did you really think she would come unprepared? Not a damn chance. There wasn't a question about it. The only questions left are how quickly the Kelce brothers demolish those cookies. Do they just rip through them tonight once they get back to the hotel? Do they have any self-control and try to savor them throughout the week? Do they make sure to put them in a great hiding spot in their hotel room to make sure that none of their teammates steal a few? Personally I think I'd get a little greedy and eat half of them tonight, and then try to stretch out the rest to get me through Sunday. You want to take advantage of as many as you can while they are still at their freshest, but you also don't want to be sitting in your hotel room at 10pm on Thursday night wishing you had a little something sweet to eat to take the edge off but then you remember you crushed all those cookies on Monday. 

Go Birds.