China Is Currently Cloning "Super Cows" That Produce 50% More Milk Than American Cows

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(SOURCE)

Chinese scientists said they have successfully cloned three "super cow" calves that, once fully grown, are capable of producing 50% more milk than the average American cow.

The cloning experiment began last year at Northwest University of Agricultural and Forestry Science and Technology in Shaanxi, China. Scientists sampled tissue from cows across China and used what's called the somatic cell nuclear transfer method to create embryos which were then placed inside surrogate cows. 

The calves will eventually produce 18 tons of milk per year, or 100 tons of milk in their lifetime, Chinese scientists said. By comparison, the average U.S. cow produces almost 12 tons of milk a year, according to U.S. Department of Agriculture data. 

Everyone knows American tensions with China are reaching (have reached?) a boiling point in recent years. Tariffs, Taiwan airspace, and hot air balloons are just a few of the reasons war drums are beating between the two powers. But now you're telling me they're cloning super cows over there? No thank you! 

It's actually pretty horrifying. Thank god we're allies with the Aussies, as they have super cows of their own: 

Get Knickers a sit down with President Xi to deescalate this madness, first and foremost. Have him stare President Xi right in his eyes and say, "cut the shit." 

If that doesn't work, there's only one thing left to do: 

Nuclear war. That'd be our only remaining option. Send in the Enola Gay! We gotta nip this in the bud before it's too late, and that means proactive nuclear measures. Not reactive. If we don't strike first, we'll go from reading about the Chinese cloning super cows to reading about how the Chinese government concocted an airborne respiratory virus that can knock out entire swaths of the population. 

Scary times indeed. I yearn for times of peace, like during the 1990s and early 2000s. Is that too much to ask?