George Kittle Had No Clue How To React To A Seemingly Sawed In Half Man At The Pro Bowl
Whatever contortionist histrionics this shit it, I'm wildly impressed by the guy just pulling up to the Pro Bowl scene in Las Vegas and creeping George Kittle the hell out. All the San Francisco 49ers tight end could manage was, "That's a lot!"
Did they pull this guy straight off the strip? Did the NFL fly him in to be a special entertainment act? Is he actually sawed in half!? No but really, I have so many questions.
Not sure what the bisected marvel's name is, but I've done some hardcore research aka Googling "guy who looks sawed in half" and this is what I found...an apparent pioneer of the so-called "Magician cut in half" trick.
Andy Gross may be watching somewhere, bitter over how some rival master of deception is plastered all over the NFL's social media accounts whilst ripping off his "SplitMan" bit.
The only appropriate reaction is, of course, this:
Thank you for delivering the goods for this situation, Soulja Boy.
PS, I know you know "Crank That", Soulja Boy's smash hit song. One of my favorite covers of all-time from a band called I Set My Friends On Fire that may actually have more twisted lyrics at times than that name would even imply.
I've gotten really far afield from the initial topic of this blog but sometimes a seemingly whatever story takes you to extraordinary places, down odd rabbit holes and onto weird tangents. The Internet, ladies and gentlemen.
Anyway, George Kittle probably has enough on his mind to begin to address the 2023 edition of SplitMan Even though he's usually a fun-loving, hilarious dude in his own right, I imagine Kittle freaking out inside about what the hell the 49ers are going to do at quarterback this offseason. Brock Purdy? Hurt pretty badly. Jimmy G? Gone. Trey Lance? Near-zero experience.
Sound off in the comments on what you think Kyle Shanahan should do to address his turbulent quarterback situation in San Francisco, your favorite off-field or mic'd up Kittle moment, and/or what the hell you make of this sawed in half man.